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“YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST” will be on HIATUS from late MAY UNTIL mid-JUNE….

So, for this week, we present an “oldie-but-goodie” from Spring 2016.    President Trump has withdrawn the United States from the flawed nuclear agreement with Iran.   But in early 2016, President Obama and Secretary of State Kerry had just completed the agreement, and our “Top Ten” offered this commentary:

 

TOP TEN WAYS THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA and SECRETARY KERRY CAN TELL IF IRAN IS CHEATING ON THE NUCLEAR AGREEMENT THEY SIGNED :
 
 
10.     Iconic view of Mount Tochal from Tehran obscured by stacks of new ICBM missiles.
 
9.       High-stepping Iranian Guards regiment leading off beloved “Mummers” parade in Philadelphia.
 
8.        Front-page headline on “Cosmopolitan” magazine:   “EXCITING NEW BURQAS TO DRIVE HIM WILD!“
 
7.         Starbucks introduces espresso beverage:   Bani Sadr Tabriz Truffle
 
6.         For six days now, callers to London and Berlin always get that creepy “busy circuit” buzz.
 
5.          “People” magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive?”   — Supreme Leader Ali Khameni    (That vain Supreme Leader!   For the photo shoot, his robes were clearly more form fitting.)
 
4.         Most popular baby names in the USA, 2015:    “Noah” and “Emma”
             Most popular baby names in the USA, 2017:    “Abdul-Fazi” and “Nazanin-Sahra”
 
3.         The good news:   Finally, a woman appears on the $20 bill.
             The bad news:   Thanks to the hijab, we can’t tell who she is.
 
2.         “The Late Show‘s” Steven Colbert goes on vacation.    Guest host:    former President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
 
 
And…. the #1 way President Obama and Secretary Kerry can tell if Iran is cheating on the nuclear agreement they signed is :
 
1.           At the 7th inning stretch in Wrigley Field, public address announcer intones:
                  “Gentlemen, please rise and remove your turbans, as we chant “Death to the Cardinals.”
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.  To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .
Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018, by scrolling back.  Enjoy!
See you in June!
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TOP TEN COMMENTS OVERHEARD from DEPARTED NY ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC SCHNEIDERMAN this MONTH:

 

10.  I never crossed “that” line — unless you count slapping.

 

 9.  Misogny has no place in our White House or in Congress.   But the mall in Albany…  now THAT’S a guaranteed “safe space” for us.

 

 8.   I am the law!   Boy, I really love saying that on the first date.

 

 7.   It depends on ​your definition of ​what “consensual” means.

 

  6.  The most important thing here is that I speak at feminist news conferences, isn’t it?

 

  5.  Term limits?   For whom?

 

  4.  What would Attorney General Spitzer do?

 

​  3.  If I leave, who will bring Harvey Weinstein, the gun “lobby” and business owners to heel?

 

  2.  I remain committed to the Equal Rights Amendment, ladies.  Now, can this go away?

 

…AND THE NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD from DEPARTED NY ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC SCHNEIDERMAN this MONTH is:

 

  1. I may have to postpone my presidential run by a term or so.

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of “real” news.   To subscribe to the Top Ten for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com  , complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back to posts from 2016, 2017 and 2018.   Enjoy!

 

 

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TOP TEN NEWS ITEMS from COMEY MEMOS SOON to be RELEASED:

 

10.   When ordering ham & cheese on rye, JC insists on heavy horseradish.

 

 9.    Memo to Scott Pruitt sought tips on upgrades to first class when flying on Federal business.

 

 8.   In message to Mark Zuckerberg, no general privacy concerns were raised.  But the then-Director asked for the “likes” of Jennifer Lawrence and the Kardashians….   for “security purposes.”

 

 7.    Will answer to “J. Edgar” Comey.

 

 6.    Inexplicably, the Director kissed the President’s ring in January 2017, but memorialized his disdain for the chief executive’s “Trump” brand after shave.

 

 5.     Then-Director Comey was present at Hillary Clinton’s “victory party,” but wore sunglasses, a handlebar mustache and her barely-worn NY Yankees cap.

 

 4.     Grainy scanned photo seems to show Comey & Mueller at a “Rocky Horror Picture Show” in Arlington, 2015.

 

 3.     Agents assigned to FBI priorities:   141 to terrorism, 87 to organized crime, 32 to criminal aliens, and 871 to Trump collusion and tax return issues.

 

2.     Stock in that Russian uranium company arrived in a brown wrapper at FBI headquarters last year.

 

…and the NUMBER ONE NEWS ITEM from COMEY MEMOS SOON to be RELEASED is:

 

  1.   2017 anniversary card to Mrs. Comey signed:  “All my love, The Director.”

 

 

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended to be humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.    To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .

Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through 2016, 2017 and 2018 posts.   Enjoy!

 

 

 

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TOP TEN EARLY DEMOCRAT TALKING POINTS for CONGRESSIONAL ELECTIONS in NOVEMBER:

 

10.   Why mess with “peace in our time” in Iran?

 

 9.     Your $2,000 tax cut?   Turn that back right now!

 

 8.     MS-13 gives the new “immigrant” a purpose in life.

 

 7.    If no one is illegal, every state can be a sanctuary!!

 

 6.    Don’t provoke Mr. Kim.   Let’s keep those Obama-Biden results!

 

 5.    Shut down those evil coal mines forthwith!

 

 4.    We demand more “affordable” public housing —  just like the NYC Housing Authority!

 

 3.    Don’t you miss those Obamacare mandates and individual taxes??

 

 2.    The people demand an end to torture!!    (Except for Nancy Pelosi news conferences.)

 

…and the NUMBER ONE EARLY DEMOCRAT TALKING POINT for CONGRESSIONAL ELECTIONS in NOVEMBER is:

 

 1.   FDR had his “Chicken in every pot.”    Now, we’ve got “A creepy guy in every girls’ room!” for you.

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten List” is intended to provide humorous commentary.   It is not a source of actual news.   To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten” list, please visit  www.gipperten.com  .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can scroll back to catch up on previous “Top Tens’ from 2016, 2017 and 2018.  Enjoy!

 

 

 

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TOP TEN FINAL ESSAY EXAM QUESTIONS at TOP TIER UNIVERSITIES THIS SPRING:

​

​10.   How has Venezuela solved problems of income inequality?    Your response should draw upon our readings from Comrades Maduro, Castro, Chavez and Lenin.​

 

 9.    What viewpoints are undeserving of a forum on a university campus?

 

 8.    How can a democracy develop the civic unity so palpable in progressive governments such as North Korea and Red China?

 

 7.   Contrast the views of Thomas Piketty and Karl Marx.    Whose approach would be more likely to succeed in the U.S.?

 

 6.     Is the electoral college an instrument of misogyny?

 

 5.     Who was the more effective anti-colonialist?   George Washington or Fidel Castro?

 

 4.    Absent the Paris Climate Accords, by what year will Kansas City be under water?   Discuss and defend your position.

 

  3.    Should the US Constitution be amended to guarantee “safe spaces” for all?

 

 2.     Can the First Amendment be compatible with a dictatorship of the proletariat?

 

… and the NUMBER ONE FINAL ESSAY EXAM QUESTION at TOP TIER UNIVERSITIES this SPRING  is:

 

 1.     Is US Senator Bernie Sanders more Jeffersonian or Hamiltonian?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended to provide humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.   To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com  .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018 by simply scrolling back.   Enjoy!
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TOP TEN QUESTIONS for JAMES COMEY DEEMED “TOO CONFRONTATIONAL” for GEORGE STEPHANOPOLIS’ INTERVIEW;

 10.  Mr. Comey, you are a doting father, aren’t you?

 

 9.   This leaker stuff is way overblown, isn’t it?

 

 8.  How much courage did you need to summon to write about President Trump’s tan?

 

 7.  In your worldview, who’s the biggest hero, Andrew McCabe, St. Thomas More or Bob Mueller?

 

 6.   What was more fun, your honeymoon or writing this book?

 

 5.   How come you never went in for basketball?

 

 4.  Your book is a really good value, isn’t it?

 

 3.  Want some of my Raisinets?

 

 2.  Do you believe a neutral. fair minded anchor can compensate for a man-crush?

 

…and the NUMBER ONE QUESTION for JAMES COMEY DEEMED “TOO CONFRONTATIONAL” for GEORGE STEPHANOPOLIS’ INTERVIEW is:

 

 1.   You seem a little tight, Mr. Comey.   Want those burly shoulders massaged?

 

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.   To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.    While on the site, catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

 

 

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TOP TEN KIM JONG-UN NEGOTIATING GOALS for HIS UPCOMING SUMMIT with PRESIDENT TRUMP:

 

10.   Referral to the President’s personal barber.

 

 9.   Lifting tariffs on ​fine ​North Korean wines.

 

 8.  Establishment of an hourly JFK – Pyong-Yang air shuttle.

 

 7.  ​Destroy Nukes, obtain very next NBA expansion team.

 

 6.  Lessons on how to implement Trump tax cut.

 

 5.  Please help new North Korean friends to copy your “spring break” traditions.

 

 4.   Amazon and Walmart will promote the “LeaderKim Dr. Evil jacket” desig​ner collection 

                                    (​no tall sizes available).

 

 3.  Introductions to Andrew Cuomo and Bill DeBlasio, to learn how to make the one-party state more permanent.

 

 2.  North Korea seeking dealerships to sell cutting-edge Corvairs, Gremlins and Edsels.

 

…and the NUMBER ONE KIM JONG-UN NEGOTIATING GOAL for HIS UPCOMING SUMMIT with PRESIDENT TRUMP is:

 

 1.  Limits on American immigration in to his country.

 

 

Your “Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of actual news.   To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through posts from 2016, 2017 and 2018.  Enjoy!

 

 

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TOP TEN LATEST TALKING POINTS for DEMOCRATS SEEKING to TAKE OVER CONGRESS THIS FALL:

10.   No more “crumbs!”  Give back your  $2,000 tax cut now!
  9.  Avoid confiscation on January 1st!Turn in your personal firearms today.
  8.  Nothing like impeachment to solve the country’s pressing problems!
  7.   Men!  Vote Democrat, regain admission to girls’ bathrooms!
  6.  Of course Kim Jong-un will respect Speaker Nancy Pelosi!
  5.  It’s about time we rename Grand Central Station for Chuck Schumer.
  4.  We Dems really know how to control those Ayatollahs in Iran !!
  3.  Vote Democrat!  We’ll turn over Second Amendment and security policy to radical teenagers.
  2.  Who needs a surplus of job openings?
…And the NUMBER ONE LATEST TALKING POINT for DEMOCRATS SEEKING to TAKE OVER CONGRESS THIS FALL is:
​  1.  Whom do you trust, Susan Rice or General Mattis?​
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended to be humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.  To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through posts from 2016, 2017 and 2018.   Enjoy!
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TOP TEN SURPRISING REVELATIONS from RUSSIAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION EXIT POLLS:

 

10.   38% of daily Stolichnaya vodka drinkers believe they voted for Peter the Great.

 

 9.   97% of Russian voters agreed that they “could have delivered a better dossier for only $6 million” to Hillary.

 

 8.  38% of voters on the Kamchatka peninsula want their region renamed “Mar-a-Lago,” to improve the weather.

 

 7.   17% of Putin voters based their choice on his famous vocal version of “Blueberry Hill.”     (Google this for yourself)

 

 6.   43% of Putin voters believe he will quickly dump Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev in favor of Maria Sharapova.

 

 5.    100% of all Russian voters do not believe Senator Elizabeth Warren descended from Siberian Eskimos.

 

 4.   64% of Putin voters believe “the President would never invade Crimea or Ukraine.”

 

 3.  87% of these voters get their information from Russian television.

 

 2.  18% of all Russians surveyed think that Putin’s Tweets are “un-presidential.”

 

 …and the NUMBER ONE SURPRISING RESULT from RUSSIAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION EXIT POLLS is:

 

 1.    53% of anti-Putin voters would move to Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, if they could.

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended to provide humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.  To susbcribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018.   Enjoy!

 

Gipperten.com and Your Weekly American Top Ten list wish our readers a blessed Holy Week and a happy Passover season.

 

 

 

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TOP TEN LATEST EXCUSES for LOSING, as TOLD to AUDIENCES in INDIA by HILLARY R. CLINTON

 

10.  THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WAS CREATED TO PREVENT THE ELECTION OF A WOMAN PRESIDENT.

 

 9.  ANGRY REDNECKS TOLD THEIR WIVES TO VOTE FOR TRUMP.    TOO BAD WE DON’T HAVE THE SECRET BALLOT IN AMERICA.

 

 8.  AS YOU KNOW, THE KU KLUX KLAN IS REALLY BIG IN WISCONSIN.

 

 7.  THERE WERE TOO MANY PEOPLE WHO, LIKE, DON’T WANT INDIAN-AMERICANS TO SUCCEED.  YOU KNOW, PEOPLE                                                     

                            LIKE NIKKI HALEY AND  BOBBY JINDAL.

 

 6.  ILLEGALS GOT US THE POPULAR VOTE, JUST NOT THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE. 

 

 5.  WE SURE DIDN’T GET OUR $12 MILLION WORTH OF DIRT ON TRUMP FROM THAT DOSSIER.

 

 4,  SOME VOTERS ACTUALLY OBJECTED TO MY ACID WASHING OF 33,000 GOVERNMENT EMAILS.

 

 3.  NOT ENOUGH OF THE “LITTLE PEOPLE” GRASPED THAT I AM THEIR SAVIOR.

  

 2.  OF COURSE TRUMP CARRIED FLORIDA.   ALL THOSE MILLIONS OF CADDIES AND WAITERS AT MAR-A-LAGO VOTED FOR HIM.

 

…and the NUMBER ONE LATEST EXCUSE for LOSING as TOLD to AUDIENCES in INDIA by HILLARY R. CLINTON is: 

 

 1.   EXIT POLLS SHOWED I COULD HAVE CARRIED PENNSYLVANIA AND MICHIGAN, IF I HAD ONLY WORN MINI-SKIRTS.

 

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended to provide humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.  To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.   While you are on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through postings from 2016, 2017 and 2018.  Enjoy !!

 

 

 

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