Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  LAS VEGAS ODDS-MAKERS TAKING BETS ON “DELIVERY DATE” OF MUELLER ​REPORT​  

9.  CNN’S ACOSTA OBLIVIOUS TO FACT THAT HIS NEWS REPORT MAKES A STRONG CASE FOR A BORDER WALL​

​ 8.  DATA REBUTS CUOMO CLAIM THAT NEW YORKERS FLEE THE STATE “DUE TO THE WEATHER”​ 

​ 7.  RATINGS CRASH FOR GOLDEN GLOBES TELECAST LINKED TO FAR-LEFT DIATRIBES IN SOME ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES 

 6. SCHUMER, PELOSI SEEN AS INCREASINGLY UNHINGED, EVEN ​PROCLAIMING​ WALLS TO BE “IMMORAL”

 5. INCLUDING REBOUND WEEK, STOCK PRICES CLIMB TO 27% GAIN SINCE TRUMP INAUGURAL

 4.  SECRETARY POMPEO CELEBRATED FOR COGENT ASSERTION OF U.S.​ DOCTRINE IN CAIRO SPEECH

 3. FATHER OF PARKLAND HIGH SCHOOL SHOOTING VICTIM APPLAUDS PRESIDENT’S OUTLINE FOR SCHOOL SAFETY, DECRIES OBAMA POLICIES of “LENIENCY”

 2. FOLLOWING U.S. LEAD, BRAZIL AND OTHER NATIONS PLAN EMBASS​Y MOVES​ FROM TEL AVIV TO JERUSALEM

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE READING in the WASHINGTON POST THIS WEEK is…

 1.DISAPPOINTED BY REACTION TO HIS DENTAL APPOINTMENT VIDEO, “BETO” O’ROURKE ​PONDERS​ LIVE ​STREAMING​ OF ​HIS UPCOMING​ PROSTATE EXAM

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.

To subscribe for free to the Top Ten list, please visit  www.gipperten.com  .    Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back through posts from 2016-2019,   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. Senator Schumer is holding up the President’s Ambassadorial nominations….   (Wait — Wasn’t that happening anyway?)

 9. Paramours at Department of Justice have even more time for extra curricular activities.

8.   White House Mess now offering only KFC and Taco Bell at lunch.  (Now the President may never compromise).

 7. Despondent Federal employees available for interviews at nearly all ski resorts near major media markets.

 6. Government workers around the US will need a few extra years to replace Federal building lobby portraits of President Obama with those of President Trump.

 5. “Vital” winter Federal trainings in Las Vegas, the US Virgin Islands, Atlantic City and San Diego postponed for weeks (WEEKS, I tell you!)….    (These are all actual locations of past Federal trainings!)

 4.   A few guys down at the bar are wondering if maybe big government isn’t as necessary as they’ve been telling us.

 3. Federal GSA workers lament that whitewashing of the Washington Monument must be postponed until spring.

 2. U.S. Embassy in Cuba just might have to be closed.

…and the NUMBER ONE LITTLE KNOWN CONSEQUENCE of the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT “SHUTDOWN” is:

1.Nancy Pelosi flew back to DC on a commercial flight.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news. To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please log on to www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016 – 18 by scrolling back. Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail to: herbstupp@gmail.com

10. Tons of cars keep entering Columbus Circle…. but very few seem to exit….

 9. “News” anchors at CNN and MSNBC wear sunglasses all the time now.

 8.  Mayor DeBlasio delivers his “State of the City” message three hours late, and begins with a huge grin and a hearty “Wow, man.”

 7.   95% of summer outdoor movie screenings to feature “Cheech and Chong” films.

 6. Now, 73% of New Yorkers actually “look forward to chatting with telemarketers.”

 5.   At LaGuardia and Kennedy Airports, hundreds of planes are taxiing around, but not many are taking off….

 4. At his weekly Sunday news conference, US Senator Schumer uses the word “toke” eleven times and just can’t stop giggling.

 3. Fully 21% of Hudson River commuter ferries wind up docking in Bermuda.

 2. Most common response from 311 operators is :  “Like , what?”

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY we can TELL THAT GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO has SIGNED the BILL to LEGALIZE RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA is:

1. The Governor keeps referring to “our beautiful new Andrew M. Cuomo Bridge.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news. To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back through 2016, 2017 and 2018.

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail to: herbstupp@gmail.com .

Enjoy!

YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST wishes all of our faithful subscribers and readers the very best for 2019, with health, opportunity and blessings for each of you…. and success, strengthened sovereignty and expanding freedoms for our beloved nation. -HWS

10.   New Socialist Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez:    Promise to learn a few simple “Supply and Demand” lessons…

9. Bill and Hill:  Resolve to avoid further embarrassment by bailing out on their  “Underwhelming World Tour”

8. Brian Stelter and Chris Cuomo:  Figure out how to make CNN Fake News more believable

7.  Jeff Flake and Bob Corker —  Flashy Grand Openings for their “Subway” franchises in Tombstone, Arizona and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.

6. James Comey:  Plead for a pardon from the President

5. MSNBC:    Get more than 5 people to watch them…

4. Kim Jong-un:   Start discarding nukes, get Dennis Rodman as U.S. Ambassador

3.  President Trump: Replace Twitter feed with some nice, low-tech radio “Fireside Chats”….

2.   Vladimir Putin:   Manipulate elections in Venezuela, Cuba and Nicaragua — IF they hold them!

…and the NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION for 2019 is….

1.    Those 30 potential Democrat candidates running for President:   Ensure that audience always exceeds the number of candidates on stage…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news. To subscribe for free, please log on to www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through 2016, 2017, and 2018.

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail: herbstupp@gmail.com . Enjoy!

10.   For “Hill and Bill”: A full house of live paying customers for just one of their “road tour” speaking engagements. (But just one.)

9. For Steve Bannon: A makeover from those “Queer Eye” fellows. 

8. For Les Moonves, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer and Harvey Weinstein: A no-females, cross-country road trip in one compact car.

7. For Vladimir Putin: Someone actually willing to “collude” with him.

6. For American women: A “Women’s March” that actually represents them and kicks out the anti-semites, Communists, over-medicated celebrities and Islamic extremists.

5. For CNN’s Jim Acosta: A bull horn, for his farewell White House news conference.

4. For Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: a copy of Henry Hazlitt’s “Economics in One Lesson.”

3. For Joe Biden: a credible Hawaiian document “proving” his “1956” birthplace.

2. For former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer: Black gloves, to match those socks.

…and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS GIFT for 2018 is:

1.For Kim Jong-un: An even trade of eight nuclear warheads in exchange for a PAC – 10 college basketball team for Pyong Yang.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten” list is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.   To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,”  please visit  www.gipperten.com  .  Complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back through 2018. 2017 and 2016.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please email:  herbstupp@gmail.com   .

– On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         –A tax cut for you and for me..

– On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Two Matt Lauers leer- ing .

-On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  a Three percent growth rate.

– On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  Four Cuomos preaching.

– On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – Fi-i-i-ve  Gor – such – es.

– On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Six Harvey gropings

– On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Seven Russian raidings.

– On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Eight Biden shotguns.

– On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –    Nine fake newspapers.

–  On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –  Ten Clinton scandals.

–  On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

           –  Eleven tweeted insults.

–  On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

            – Twelve crypto-Commies.

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please sign on to  www.gipperten.com .    Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018.   

To communicate with the editor, please email  herbstupp@gmail.com.          Enjoy !

– On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…

       –  A tax cut for you and for me.

– On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Two Matt Lauers leer- ing .

-On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  a Three percent growth rate.

– On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  Four Cuomos preaching.

– On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – Fi-i-i-ve  Gor – such – es.

– On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Six Harvey gropings

– On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Seven Russian raidings.

– On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Eight Biden shotguns.

– On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –    Nine fake newspapers.

–  On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –  Ten Clinton scandals.

–  On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

           –  Eleven tweeted insults.

–  On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

            – Twelve crypto-Commies.

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please sign on to  www.gipperten.com .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018.  

To communicate with the editor, please email  herbstupp@gmail.com .          Enjoy !

10.   Do I pronounce that “Abe,” as in Lincoln?  

​                  – Mauricio Macri, President of Argentina​

 9.  What’re you lookin’ at?   

                                –​South Korean president Moon Jae-in, showing off his NY accent for our president

 8.  Where can I get a suit like that, Angela?​   

                          — South African president Cyril Ramaphosa​

 7.  ​ I just really like saying Joko Widodo  (the Indonesian President).        

                            –  Theresa May​, British PM

 6.   Shinzo, Giuseppe.   Giuseppe, Shinzo.     

                       – EU President Junckers making introductions

 5.   You have the weirdest French accent, Emmanuel.   

               – Justin Trudeau, Canadian PM

 4.  Now, Narenda, you just let the Indian media say whatever they want about you?

                           – Turkish President Recep Erdogan

 3.    So Don, just how do I get to 3% growth? 

                          – Xi Jinpeng, Chinese Premier

 2.     Hey, do you work here? 

                        – just inaugurated Mexican President Andres Obrador

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD at the G-20 SUMMIT in BUENOS AIRES was…

 1.   Wow, ​Crown ​Prince.   You didn’t even have to use poison!   

                                     -Vladimir Putin, President Russian Federation

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.   To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .    Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016, 2017 and 2018, by scrolling back.    To communicate with the editor, please e-mail herbstupp@gmail.com .   Enjoy!

10.   Do I pronounce that “Abe,” as in Lincoln?  

​                  – Mauricio Macri, President of Argentina​

 9.   What’re you lookin’ at?   –​South Korean president Moon Jae-in, showing off his NY accent for our president

 8.   Where can I get a suit like that, Angela?​    — South African president Cyril Ramaphosa​

 7.   ​ I just really like saying Joko Widodo  (Indonesian President).                 –  Theresa May​, British PM

 6.   Shinzo, Giuseppe.   Giuseppe, Shinzo.     – EU President Junckers

 5.   You have the weirdest French accent, Emmanuel.    – Justin Trudeau, Canadian PM

  4.   Now, Narenda, you just let the Indian media say anything they want about you? 

                           – Turkish President Recep Erdogan

  3.   So Don,  just how do I get to 3% growth?                – Xi Jinpeng

 2.   Hey, do you work here?                – just inaugurated Mexican President Andres Obrador

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD at the G-20 SUMMIT in BUENOS AIRES was…

 1.  Wow, ​Crown ​Prince.   You didn’t even have to use poison!              -Vladimir Putin

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.    To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com  .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through 2016, 2017 and 2018 entries.    To communicate with the editor, please email:  herbstupp@gmail.com .    Enjoy !

​10.  Sure, I’ll trade you the gravy for the stuffing.   Finally, some real collusion!

 9.  Please pass the cranberry sauce, which is as red as Orange County used to be.

 8.  That’s OK​, Turquoise​  —   I ​just had no idea you could bake tofu in the shape of a turkey​.

 7. “Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive through thy bounty,

                  …   and the most successful free economy in the world.​“​

 6.  Thanks to climate change, we grew these avocados right here in International Falls.

 5.    ​Grandma​,​ did​ the pilgrims ​really​ come here for all the free stuff from government​?​

 4.    I was ​pleasantly ​surprised to see that cheating quarterback of yours handing out a few turkeys this morning.

3.    Without those tax cuts, you’d be eatin’ canned string beans, Buster.

2.   No, the Stolichnaya was not a gift from Paul Manafort.  Nor Vladimir Putin, either.

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT USED to SMOOTH OVER DIFFERENCES DURING the THANKSGIVING WEEKEND is…

 1.  ​  Sweatheart, be a doll and,  just for today, don’t call my family “The Caravan,” OK?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.    To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back through 2016, 2017 and 2018 lists.   To communicate with the Top Ten’s editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com .   Enjoy!