Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.   Beginning  January 2, 2022,  public shaming of Americans driving gasoline powered vehicles will commence.

 9.  A 70% marginal income tax rate will be imposed on “wealthy” Americans, except those determined to be “progressive” in a majority vote of Ms. Ocasio, Elizabeth Warren and Nicolas Maduro.

 8.  Airplane travel will be limited to those signing the “Green New Deal” pledge prior to taking their first-class seats.

 7.   Those found idling their vehicles will be shot by escaping Venezuelan “security forces.”

 6.    The Hamptons, Martha’s Vineyard, Marina del Ray, San Francisco Bay and Key West will be exempt from off-shore wind farms, to avoid disturbing the ocean views of certified, worthy progressives.

 5.   Solar panels will be mounted on cows, steers and other bovines to offset the greenhouse gases they emit.

 4.  Fracking is henceforth determined to be a hate crime.

 3.   Those exposed as having complained about the “Green New Deal” will have their Internet, telephone and writing privileges withdrawn. 

 2.  Despite billions in private wealth available to enlightened celebrities, tax credits will subsidize luxury private jets for Leonardo Di Caprio, Al Gore, Mark Ruffalo and Michael Bloomberg, so that they might warn about the dangers of our “carbon footprint.”

…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER KNOWN FEATURE IN THE OCASIO-CORTEZ “GREEN NEW DEAL” is:

 1.SUV & truck drivers will be properly humiliated with public shaving of their heads (includes all 64 genders).

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

:

10.  ​ ​Leading off New York’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade​:    ​30 flatbed trucks displaying Soviet-era SS-20 missiles ….

 9.  Jimmy ​Fallon​ takes a week off from The Tonight Show.    Guest host:   Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov.

 8.  Angela Merkel, Viktor Orban, Emmanuel Macron and Theresa May arrive on Cape Cod in a rickety raft, seeking asylum.

 7.   For three weeks now, the lunch menu at the White House Mess always features borscht and Stolichnaya.

 6.    Jaded​ Bostonians ​ don’t notice that the “Washington Shuttle” jet they just boarded is operated by Aeroflot.

 5.   ​C​all​ers​ to Warsaw, Rome and Oslo always h​ear​ that creepy “busy circuit.”

​ 4.   The Good News:   Finally, a woman appears on the US $20 bill.    

  The Bad News:   It’s Catherine the Great​.

 3.  Most popular American baby names – 2017:    Liam and Emma   

  Most popular American baby names –    2019:  Nikita and Klementina

 2.  Strangely familiar man without shirt seen driving on Route 66  “road trip,” with Raul Castro, Daniel Ortega and Nikolas Maduro “riding shotgun,” in a manner of speaking.

…and the NUMBER ONE JUST-REVEALED SURE-FIRE SIGN to “TIP OFF” PRESIDENT OBAMA and SECRETARIES CLINTON & KERRY THAT the RUSSIANS are CHEATING on the INF (MISSILE) TREATY is:

 1.  St. Petersburg’s iconic Hermitage Museum partly obscured by casually stacked nuclear warheads.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10.  ​Is the blonde ​your translator or mine?​

 9.  So, if, ​ ​just IF you were to build a hotel in Moscow,  just if, who would supply you with Stol​i​chnaya?

 8. Yeah, imagine being married to Angela.  

 7.  You stop nagging me about Ukraine, and I’ll ​cut way back on my​ MSNBC​ ads​ next year.

 6. There’s no video, right?  Is there?   Stop grinning.

 5.   I once had a wisemouth like Nancy Pelosi, too.

​4. Really, how did you get down to a 13% flat income tax?

 3.  Yes, Ivana is still single.  Why do you ask?

 2.  If I bought at Mar-a-Lago, would you throw in a golf cart?

…and the NUMBER ONE ACTUAL PHRASE OVERHEARD in RECENT TRUMP – PUTIN CONVERSATIONS is…

 1.  Believe me, you remove shirt, jump on horse, and approval rating will be 60%.  

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. “The North American Olympic Pole Vault Training Center”

 9. “Frozen Dunes”

 8. “The Gladiator Challenge Experience”

 7. “The Pelosi Palisades”

 6. “Big Bend National Park – WEST”

 5. “Schumer – Trump Towers”

 4. “Caravan Welcome Center”

 3.   ‘”Chavez-Maduro Rest Stop” (stocked with good ol’ US toilet paper)

 2.    “Won’t You be my Neighbor Fencing”

…and the NUMBER ONE “ALTERNATIVE” NAME for “the WALL” that MIGHT GAIN DEMOCRAT SUPPORT is….

 1.   “The Ocasio – Cortez Handball Courts”  (applicable to concrete border barriers only)

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10.  LAS VEGAS ODDS-MAKERS TAKING BETS ON “DELIVERY DATE” OF MUELLER ​REPORT​  

9.  CNN’S ACOSTA OBLIVIOUS TO FACT THAT HIS NEWS REPORT MAKES A STRONG CASE FOR A BORDER WALL​

​ 8.  DATA REBUTS CUOMO CLAIM THAT NEW YORKERS FLEE THE STATE “DUE TO THE WEATHER”​ 

​ 7.  RATINGS CRASH FOR GOLDEN GLOBES TELECAST LINKED TO FAR-LEFT DIATRIBES IN SOME ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES 

 6. SCHUMER, PELOSI SEEN AS INCREASINGLY UNHINGED, EVEN ​PROCLAIMING​ WALLS TO BE “IMMORAL”

 5. INCLUDING REBOUND WEEK, STOCK PRICES CLIMB TO 27% GAIN SINCE TRUMP INAUGURAL

 4.  SECRETARY POMPEO CELEBRATED FOR COGENT ASSERTION OF U.S.​ DOCTRINE IN CAIRO SPEECH

 3. FATHER OF PARKLAND HIGH SCHOOL SHOOTING VICTIM APPLAUDS PRESIDENT’S OUTLINE FOR SCHOOL SAFETY, DECRIES OBAMA POLICIES of “LENIENCY”

 2. FOLLOWING U.S. LEAD, BRAZIL AND OTHER NATIONS PLAN EMBASS​Y MOVES​ FROM TEL AVIV TO JERUSALEM

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE READING in the WASHINGTON POST THIS WEEK is…

 1.DISAPPOINTED BY REACTION TO HIS DENTAL APPOINTMENT VIDEO, “BETO” O’ROURKE ​PONDERS​ LIVE ​STREAMING​ OF ​HIS UPCOMING​ PROSTATE EXAM

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is not a source of real news.

To subscribe for free to the Top Ten list, please visit  www.gipperten.com  .    Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back through posts from 2016-2019,   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. Senator Schumer is holding up the President’s Ambassadorial nominations….   (Wait — Wasn’t that happening anyway?)

 9. Paramours at Department of Justice have even more time for extra curricular activities.

8.   White House Mess now offering only KFC and Taco Bell at lunch.  (Now the President may never compromise).

 7. Despondent Federal employees available for interviews at nearly all ski resorts near major media markets.

 6. Government workers around the US will need a few extra years to replace Federal building lobby portraits of President Obama with those of President Trump.

 5. “Vital” winter Federal trainings in Las Vegas, the US Virgin Islands, Atlantic City and San Diego postponed for weeks (WEEKS, I tell you!)….    (These are all actual locations of past Federal trainings!)

 4.   A few guys down at the bar are wondering if maybe big government isn’t as necessary as they’ve been telling us.

 3. Federal GSA workers lament that whitewashing of the Washington Monument must be postponed until spring.

 2. U.S. Embassy in Cuba just might have to be closed.

…and the NUMBER ONE LITTLE KNOWN CONSEQUENCE of the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT “SHUTDOWN” is:

1.Nancy Pelosi flew back to DC on a commercial flight.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news. To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please log on to www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016 – 18 by scrolling back. Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail to: herbstupp@gmail.com

10. Tons of cars keep entering Columbus Circle…. but very few seem to exit….

 9. “News” anchors at CNN and MSNBC wear sunglasses all the time now.

 8.  Mayor DeBlasio delivers his “State of the City” message three hours late, and begins with a huge grin and a hearty “Wow, man.”

 7.   95% of summer outdoor movie screenings to feature “Cheech and Chong” films.

 6. Now, 73% of New Yorkers actually “look forward to chatting with telemarketers.”

 5.   At LaGuardia and Kennedy Airports, hundreds of planes are taxiing around, but not many are taking off….

 4. At his weekly Sunday news conference, US Senator Schumer uses the word “toke” eleven times and just can’t stop giggling.

 3. Fully 21% of Hudson River commuter ferries wind up docking in Bermuda.

 2. Most common response from 311 operators is :  “Like , what?”

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY we can TELL THAT GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO has SIGNED the BILL to LEGALIZE RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA is:

1. The Governor keeps referring to “our beautiful new Andrew M. Cuomo Bridge.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news. To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,” please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back through 2016, 2017 and 2018.

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail to: herbstupp@gmail.com .

Enjoy!

YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST wishes all of our faithful subscribers and readers the very best for 2019, with health, opportunity and blessings for each of you…. and success, strengthened sovereignty and expanding freedoms for our beloved nation. -HWS

10.   New Socialist Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez:    Promise to learn a few simple “Supply and Demand” lessons…

9. Bill and Hill:  Resolve to avoid further embarrassment by bailing out on their  “Underwhelming World Tour”

8. Brian Stelter and Chris Cuomo:  Figure out how to make CNN Fake News more believable

7.  Jeff Flake and Bob Corker —  Flashy Grand Openings for their “Subway” franchises in Tombstone, Arizona and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.

6. James Comey:  Plead for a pardon from the President

5. MSNBC:    Get more than 5 people to watch them…

4. Kim Jong-un:   Start discarding nukes, get Dennis Rodman as U.S. Ambassador

3.  President Trump: Replace Twitter feed with some nice, low-tech radio “Fireside Chats”….

2.   Vladimir Putin:   Manipulate elections in Venezuela, Cuba and Nicaragua — IF they hold them!

…and the NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION for 2019 is….

1.    Those 30 potential Democrat candidates running for President:   Ensure that audience always exceeds the number of candidates on stage…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news. To subscribe for free, please log on to www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through 2016, 2017, and 2018.

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail: herbstupp@gmail.com . Enjoy!

10.   For “Hill and Bill”: A full house of live paying customers for just one of their “road tour” speaking engagements. (But just one.)

9. For Steve Bannon: A makeover from those “Queer Eye” fellows. 

8. For Les Moonves, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer and Harvey Weinstein: A no-females, cross-country road trip in one compact car.

7. For Vladimir Putin: Someone actually willing to “collude” with him.

6. For American women: A “Women’s March” that actually represents them and kicks out the anti-semites, Communists, over-medicated celebrities and Islamic extremists.

5. For CNN’s Jim Acosta: A bull horn, for his farewell White House news conference.

4. For Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: a copy of Henry Hazlitt’s “Economics in One Lesson.”

3. For Joe Biden: a credible Hawaiian document “proving” his “1956” birthplace.

2. For former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer: Black gloves, to match those socks.

…and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS GIFT for 2018 is:

1.For Kim Jong-un: An even trade of eight nuclear warheads in exchange for a PAC – 10 college basketball team for Pyong Yang.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten” list is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.   To subscribe for free to the “Top Ten,”  please visit  www.gipperten.com  .  Complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens by scrolling back through 2018. 2017 and 2016.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please email:  herbstupp@gmail.com   .

– On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         –A tax cut for you and for me..

– On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Two Matt Lauers leer- ing .

-On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  a Three percent growth rate.

– On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  Four Cuomos preaching.

– On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – Fi-i-i-ve  Gor – such – es.

– On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Six Harvey gropings

– On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Seven Russian raidings.

– On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Eight Biden shotguns.

– On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –    Nine fake newspapers.

–  On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –  Ten Clinton scandals.

–  On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

           –  Eleven tweeted insults.

–  On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

            – Twelve crypto-Commies.

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please sign on to  www.gipperten.com .    Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018.   

To communicate with the editor, please email  herbstupp@gmail.com.          Enjoy !