- Cartel minivan drivers crossing the border with a “Majorkas Bobblehead” ornament on the dashboard will receive pre-paid gasoline cards and free rapid oil change.
- Border-crossing migrants from Andorra, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, San Marino, Vatican City and Gibraltar will be arrested and deported immediately.
- High-net worth migrants from Monaco will be assessed a 25% “wealth tax” upon US entry, and returned to Monte Carlo (economy class) forthwith.
- Racial, ethnic and gender profiling of migrants is strictly prohibited… except for those shifty Liechstensteiners.
- For each 300 feet of new border wall constructed, a bronze bust of a Biden family member must be affixed and displayed.
- Migrants who have obtained counterfeit Voter IDs will be booked into Manhattan’s Roosevelt Hotel, and then re-directed to 2024 “Swing States.”
- Crossing the Rio Grande in a wet “Thank You Joe Biden” T-shirt grants you a free towel, cell phone and gift card.
- Every thousandth illegal will be awarded “their” own “Newcomer Influencer” channel on You Tube.
- 1.5 million new, additional migrants WILL be released into the U.S. each year (Wait! That actually WAS in the previous Biden-Schumer bill!!)
….and the NUMBER ONE PROVISION in the LATEST “BI-PARTISAN’ BORDER PROPOSAL is:
- Migrants flown into the U.S. on Biden-requisitioned military aircraft will have automatic access to First Class airline lounges.
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