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TOP TEN LESSER-KNOWN ITEMS in the $1.9 TRILLION “STIMULUS” BILL:

10.  $​16 million to monitor the meetings, whereabouts, communications and statements of former President Trump, just like the old days.

 9. $3 million to replicate Nancy Pelosi’s designer San Francisco freezer in her Washington office.

 8.  $1.1 billion for 13 new Gulfstream G-700 private jets, to enable Biden administration leaders and environmentalists to bypass commercial airline delays when rushing to climate change conferences​.

 7. $250,000 for a solar powered, portable, water-proof microphone system for US Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY), so he can issue constant pronouncements to media, 24/7.

 6.  $6 million for additional “nuclear footballs,” to be issued at the discretion of Vice President Harris.

 5.   $2.1 billion for pogo sticks to enable female varsity athletes to compete with biological males (made necessary by passage of the “Equality Act”).

 4. $500,000 for new business suits for Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY).

 3.  $3.2 billion in “stimulus” checks for felons confined to prison  (oh, wait….   the House bill actually DOES include this!).

 2.  Addendum to the $100 million towards a BART tunnel to serve billionaires in Silicon Valley: ​ $900 million earmarked for a high speed, light-rail tunnel connecting K Street lobbying firms with the US Senate Majority Leader’s suites.

…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER-KNOWN ITEM in the $1.9 TRILLION “STIMULUS” BILL is:

 1. “Fiscal impact” clause ​in bill ​states​ that total costs “may not exceed $1.9 trillion, or $40 gazillion, whichever is more…”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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