10. Police who are defunded will also be subject to a 50% marginal income tax rate.
9. The US-Mexico Border Wall shall feature swinging doors, moving walkways and welcome centers with Michelin-starred chefs.
8. Cities that experience 20% increases in murders will be eligible to tap a $5 billion Federal pool to hire social workers.
7. Milwaukee, the host city of the Democrat convention, will be returned to the Chippewa Nation.
6. Public and private higher education will be billed to the taxpayers, except at faith-affiliated institutions.
5. Women who have never undergone an abortion will be “referred” to culturally-appropriate Federal re-education camps.
4. A massive new program within the U.S. Export-Import Bank will be be known as “Hunter Biden Capital.”
3. Failure to refer to Mrs. Joseph Biden as “Dr. Biden” will trigger an automatic 120 hours of community service.
2. The “public option” Indian Health Service is an “unmitigated disaster.” Therefore, Democrats demand a public option for the entire country.
…and the NUMBER ONE LITTLE KNOWN PLANK in the 2020 DEMOCRAT NATIONAL PLATFORM is:
1. Having already experienced the trauma of expiration, the deceased should not be “suppressed” from voting by this Administration.
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.
While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2020 by scrolling back. Enjoy!
To communicate with the editor, please e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org .