10. You believe in “cancelling” student loan debts, NOT transferring unpaid loans to taxpayers.
- Blocking traffic is your “First Amendment right,” but shouting down a cmpus speaker ends “hate speech.”
8. You just might experiment with a new gender for yourself in 2026.
7. “Choice” never includes parental school choice 6. You limit your flag burning to those of the United States and Israel.5. You’ve really learned a lot from Greta Thunberg and “The View.”
4. While circling in your private jet, you call in to CNN on the mobile phone to denounce the “climate emergency.”
3. Due to constant wearing, your “Zohran” t-shirt is fading already.
- Paying a “fair share” in taxes is always for somebody else.
…AND THE NUMBER ONE TIP-OFF THAT YOU are a certified progressive is:
- That AOC tattoo you are too modest to show us.
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