10. “Dear flag-waving bible-thumper: Your Twitter account is still blocked.” Happy holidays, Jack Dorsey
9. “T’is the season to reach out and touch someone.” – Andrew Cuomo
8. “This Arbor Day, let us build back better.” -Joseph Biden
7. ” I wish you an early Meli Kalikimaka, before climate change floods my state.” -US Sen. Maisie Hirono (D- Hawaii)
6. “With the optimism of the festival of lights, we can hope for the Yeshiva Maccabees to remain undefeated.”
-Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett, writing from the Trump Heights
5. “The university proudly announces new ‘Safe Spaces’ for students celebrating the Winter Solstice.” – University Vice President for Safety, Equity, Diversity, Sustainability and Mumbo-Jumbo.”
4. “If you can just believe in Frosty the Snowman… you can believe me, too.”
– Jussie Smollett
3. ” I was only playing Mrs. Santa Claus.” – Ghislaine Maxwell
2. “You better watch out, Joe Biden’s in power. Time for all of us taxpayers to cower.” – Your accountant
…. and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS CARD INSCRIPTION for 2021 is…
- “Feliz Navidad from the Rio Grande River.” – Kamala Harris
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