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TOP TEN REQUESTS FROM NEW MIGRANTS RESIDING in NEW YORK’S ONCE-POSH ROOSEVELT HOTEL

  1.   A new, larger “My Pillow, 2.0” for the king-sized bed

 

  1. Personal shopper & concierge (City Hall staff accepted)

 

  1.   Ten free bets on “Fan Duel”

 

  1.  Shuttle buses to New York beaches in Rockaway and Coney Island

 

  1.   Voter registration forms (non-English preferred)

 

  1.   NYC “Gun Free Zone” exemption

 

  1.   Admission to “The View”

 

  1.   “Date Your New Neighbor” account (comes with free shoes and smoking jacket)

 

  1.   Leather briefcases, to carry fentanyl

 

..and the NUMBER ONE REQUEST FROM MIGRANTS NOW RESIDING at NEW YORK’S ONCE-POSH ROOSEVELT HOTEL is…

 

  1.  Taylor Swift concert tickets

 

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

 

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