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ANDREW CUOMO’S TOP TEN “TO DO” LIST ITEMS for AUGUST 23rd (his last full day as governor)

10.   Check with Mom to see if pull-out sofa is free tomorrow night

 9.   See if I can finagle a no-show, 6-figure job at the Port Authority.   Who would notice?

 8.  Procure phone number of that other cute State Trooper

 7.   Buy lots of acreage along the Pennsylvania border, then, at midnight: lift my ban on fracking.

 6.  Figure out schedule with brother Chris about standing guard at my​​ green “Mario M. Cuomo Bridge” highway signs.

 5.   Change my Match.com moniker to “StillYoLuvGov.”

 4.   Do Kathy Hochul some solids: Remove Hugh Hefner’s water bed from mansion, then suspend state income tax collections

 3.   Requisition the state airplane once last time, then drop water balloons on Mayor DeBlasio’s Gracie Mansion.

 2.  Draft ​yet more​ “volunteers” from state government to write my new book:   “​ Groping and Official Business: Pitfalls and Opportunities “

…and the NUMBER ONE ANDREW CUOMO “TO DO” LIST ITEM for AUGUST 23rd is…

  1.  Get those official “New York Governor” golf shirts back from mansion laundry. Then, post on E-Bay.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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