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TOP TEN HEADLINES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED THIS WEEK:

10. PRESIDENT OFFERS OLIVE BRANCH OF UNITY,​ PLUS ​LOTS OF FREE STUFF

 9. GOVERNMENT OF CANADA OUTRAGED IN BIDEN’S FIRST HOURS, BEATING TRUMP’S STANDARD BY MONTHS

 8. WHEW!  PRESIDENT MAKES IT THROUGH SPEECH, SORT OF

 7. AT INAUGURAL BREAKFAST, SCHUMER, PELOSI WOW AUDIENCE WITH ROLLICKING MALAPROPS

 6. BIDEN, INFORMED OF WELL-WISHES FROM SUGA, MACRON, CONTE, MODI, JOHNSON, MERKEL AND TRUDEAU, ASKS “WHICH ONE DELIVERS?”

 5. PROGRESSIVES APPLAUD GIFT OF NUCLEAR FOOTBALL TO VICE PRESIDENT HARRIS

 4. SENSING SECURITY RISK, SECRET SERVICE EMBARRASSES NEW PRESIDENT BY TACKLING CONGRESSMAN SWALLWELL DURING CEREMONY

 3. CHECKING OUT HIS DIGS, NEW SENATOR MAKES FIRST OFFICE  CALL TO RAUL CASTRO

 2. COULD BIDEN’S EXECUTIVE ORDER ON GENDER MEAN THAT MS. HARRIS MIGHT NOT BE THE FIRST FEMALE VICE PRESIDENT?

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE YOU MAY HAVE MISSED THIS WEEK is:

1.MIXING METAPHORS, PRESIDENT SHUTS DOWN PIPELINE IN ORDER TO COMBAT WHITE SUPREMACY

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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