- Seek “observer” status for the 2024 “Party Congress” of the CCP.
- Wade across the Rio Grande to show solidarity with drug mules.
- All in for new BFF Kamala — help her to “control” the border… though it’s not really needed.
- In my constituent newsletter, explain why New York taxes are such a privilege to pay.
- Denounce that awful insurrection. No, not the one in Nashville.
- Hire my next Congressional campaign manager. Arrest record preferred.
- Be careful to condemn deaths as “executions” only when they are prompted by white males.
- Remember to never separate the phrase: “MAGA Republicans.”
- Seek carbon-neutral ways to commute from the Bronx to Washington. Wait… Scratch that!
…and the NUMBER ONE ITEM on CONGRESSWOMAN A.O.C.’s “TO DO” LIST, 2023-24, is…
- Deliver a baby “identifying” as a male. Then, name him “Fidel.”
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