Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. (RE ​Turkish President Erdogan)…   “​So, Tayyip.,…  Do the Russians buy more halvah from you than we do?”

9. (RE the UK’s Keith Starmer)   “This guy has all the virtues of a poodle, without any of the misbehavin’.”

8. “What kind of nickname is Bibi, any way?   Any connection to Bebe Rebozo?”

7. (RE UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterrez)    “No worries, Tony.    These cops won’t ticket your limos like NYPD does.”

6.  (RE Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salmon )   –“PUL-EAZ, no more disappearing journalists, OK?”

5.  “How come the Indonesians and the Japanese are here?”

4. (RE Canadian PM Mark Carney )      “​Hey, Mark…, you came for the weather?”

3.  (RE Italian PM Giorgia Meloni)    “Wow, you’ve got smart brains, too!”

2.  (RE Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi)    “Nice sphinx you got here.  This would look great near our new ballroom.”

…and the NUMBER ONE THOUGHT NOT UTTERED by PRESIDENT TRUMP at the PEACE SUMMIT in SHARM EL-SHEIK, EGYPT is…

1. “Hmmm……  I wonder if any of the guys in the room were ever NYC cab drivers….”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. “IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY @#$%, YOU CAN GO &%$# YOURSELF”

9. “WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR MASHED POTATOES?”

8.    “FOR JUST ANOTHER $10 BILLION, WE CAN FINISH THAT TRAIN TO NOWHERE”

7.  “I WILL KEEP GAVIN’S ‘FLEE CALIFORNIA IMMEDIATELY’ POLICIES GOING!”

6.   “WORLD-CLASS LEADERSHIP IS ALWAYS MEASURED IN DECIBELS”

5.    “SINCE MALIBU IS STILL AN ASH HEAP, WE CAN MOVE HOMELESS TENTS RIGHT THERE”

4.   “WHEN I DEMAND HIGHER TAXES, YOU THINK ANYONE IN THE LEGISLATURE HAS THE @#$% TO STOP ME?”

3.      “CAMPAIGNING FOR GOVERNOR IS A BIT LIKE SPEED DATING.   I AM SO GREAT AT BOTH, DONTCHA THINK?”

2.   “&%$# OR @#$%, BUT EITHER WAY, YOU BETTER &%$# VOTE THE RIGHT @#$%& WAY, PEOPLE!’   

…and the NUMBER ONE TRIAL CAMPAIGN SLOGAN for CONGRESSWOMAN KATIE PORTER (the LEADING DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE for GOVERNOR of CALIFORNIA) is:

1. ​“SOME PEOPLE FEEL THREATENED BY AN ASSERTIVE WOMAN. BUT I’M REALLY VULGAR, TOO.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. Mississippi River:   Captain must avoid hitting large catfish, kayakers and occasional alligators.

Cuba:     Captain must avoid hitting rafts jammed with desperate people escaping.

9.  Mississippi:   Even from miles off shore, you can hear the call of a coyote or an eagle.

Cuba:   If the winds are right, even from miles off shore, you might hear a firing squad.

8.  Docking in Memphis means a blues concert, fine meals, a selection of newspapers and the ability to load up on ammo.

Docking in Havana means military rations, a party-controlled “newspaper,” and ammo for secret police only.

7.  Mississippi:  As you disembark in port, you might spot singer Vince Gill or former governor Lamar Alexander.

Cuba:   As you disembark in port, you might spot former dictator Raul Castro in his limousine, or fugitive bomber William Morales relaxing on a beach.

6. Mississippi:   Hunters’ rifles pointed inland at trophy game like bear and deer.

Cuba:  Army rifles pointed offshore at your cruise ship, “just to show you who’s boss.”

5. Mississippi:  On some nights in upper Minnesota , you can see the Northern Lights.

Cuba:      On many nights, electricity is rationed.

4.   Mississippi:   Even from Illinois, you can see the St. Louis Arch.

In Cuba, you can see real Russians on naval maneuvers.

3. Iconic TV shows available in your ship’s stateroom:

On the American river:  “60 Minutes” and “Swamp Thing.”

Nearing Cuba:   “You Bet Your Life” (…and not the Groucho version).

2.  Docking in American cities, you can receive the most advanced medical care in the world.

In Cuba: “do you happen to know supreme leader Miguel Diaz-Canel or Raul Castro?”

…AND THE #1 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SAILING the MISSISSIPPI RIVER vs. CRUISING CUBAN WATERS IS:

1.  Picayune-Times journalist overheard in New Orleans:   “I live in a great country.   I can denounce President Trump or President Biden any time I like.”

Cuban “journalist” overheard in Havana:     “I too live in a great country.   I can denounce President Trump any time I like.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10.   Zohran actually believes in socialism.

9.    Kim is not about to de-fund his police.

8.  Neither Kim nor Mamdani get much pushback from local “news” organizations.

7.  Kim thinks “Intifada” is a tasty falafel not available in ​ North Korea.

6.   Kim used to call himself a  “democratic” socialist,  …. for a while.

5.  Kim and Zohran both think government-owned food stores are great.   Kim swears that people can get their dog meat at affordable prices –  –   when available.

4.   Kim is wooing the New York & American Stock Exchanges with lower taxes and free kimchee.    Zohran says:  “Good riddance!”

3.  Pyong Yang is already Zohran’s “congestion pricing” dream:   only 2% can afford cars (the Communist elite) there.

2.   Kim’s new “Wonsan-Kalma” saltwater resort caters to Russians…   sort of like Brooklyn’s Coney Island beachfront.

         …and the NUMBER ONE COMPARISON BETWEEN NORTH KOREA’S KIM JONG-UN and MAYORAL CANDIDATE ZOHRAN MAMDANI is…

1.     If Mamdani chases the Knicks & Nets out of NYC….   guess who’d LOVE an NBA franchise?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .