Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.    Let’s tax those rich major league teams.    They can’t move, can they?

9.  Disgraced ex-Congressman Jamaal Bowman is being considered for Chancellor of Education   (Wait a minute!    He actually IS under consideration!!)

8.  Henceforth, it will be called the “Department of RE- education”

7.  NYPD recruits to be presented with a “Netanyahu Awareness Class” at their academy

6.   Fire Department personnel forced into re-education on “bad” fires and “good fires”  (those set to advance protests and “justifiable looting”)

5.   Voters know that Zohran wants to legalize prostitution.     But how much should we subsidize it?

4.     The Mayor -elect wants to decriminalize misdemeanors.  After that, how about bank robbery?

3.    Can we change the name of the City Council to the Politburo with a simple majority vote?

2.     Since Wall Street will never move….

      …and the NUMBER ONE UNDER REPORTED TRIAL BALLOON POLICY EARLY IN THE MAMDANI TRANSITION is…

1.  If those millionaires start resisting our tax hikes, we can make an example of one in a human sacrifice.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

​   10.     A tax-chugging “Governor Dracula” Kathy Hochul.

9.  A tuxedoed Senator Chris Van Hollen, dressed as a mixologist “shaking” top-label margaritas for MS-13 gang members, on demand.

8. Zohran Mamdani wearing a grocer’s apron as he presses on for one of the classic failures of Communism – government-owned food markets.

7.   With Dennis Rodman long retired, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un dresses up as LeBron James. (Accessory: a basket rim only 5 feet above the ground                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      6.    Special father/son costume package, featuring Fidel Castro and Justin Trudeau.   For extra Halloween fun, dress Justin in the green fatigues​ and a fake beard.

5. Truly frightening “Delaware Zombie,” replete with government-paid electrodes and hair plugs.

4. Merrick Garland and Jack Smith wear headphones, dressed as spies listening in on phone conversations.  As they eavesdrop on Republican Senators & Congressmen, they’re not really disguises.

​ 3.  US Sen. Elizabeth Warren identifies (in costume) as “John Smith,” just to underscore ​the 17th century “gender fluidity”​ of  Pocahontas.

2. French President Emmanuel Macron as a short-panted school boy with a crush on his teacher.

…and the NUMBER ONE HALLOWEEN COSTUME for 2025 is…

1. Senator Adam Schiff as Pinocchio.   

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. (RE ​Turkish President Erdogan)…   “​So, Tayyip.,…  Do the Russians buy more halvah from you than we do?”

9. (RE the UK’s Keith Starmer)   “This guy has all the virtues of a poodle, without any of the misbehavin’.”

8. “What kind of nickname is Bibi, any way?   Any connection to Bebe Rebozo?”

7. (RE UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterrez)    “No worries, Tony.    These cops won’t ticket your limos like NYPD does.”

6.  (RE Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salmon )   –“PUL-EAZ, no more disappearing journalists, OK?”

5.  “How come the Indonesians and the Japanese are here?”

4. (RE Canadian PM Mark Carney )      “​Hey, Mark…, you came for the weather?”

3.  (RE Italian PM Giorgia Meloni)    “Wow, you’ve got smart brains, too!”

2.  (RE Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi)    “Nice sphinx you got here.  This would look great near our new ballroom.”

…and the NUMBER ONE THOUGHT NOT UTTERED by PRESIDENT TRUMP at the PEACE SUMMIT in SHARM EL-SHEIK, EGYPT is…

1. “Hmmm……  I wonder if any of the guys in the room were ever NYC cab drivers….”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. “IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY @#$%, YOU CAN GO &%$# YOURSELF”

9. “WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR MASHED POTATOES?”

8.    “FOR JUST ANOTHER $10 BILLION, WE CAN FINISH THAT TRAIN TO NOWHERE”

7.  “I WILL KEEP GAVIN’S ‘FLEE CALIFORNIA IMMEDIATELY’ POLICIES GOING!”

6.   “WORLD-CLASS LEADERSHIP IS ALWAYS MEASURED IN DECIBELS”

5.    “SINCE MALIBU IS STILL AN ASH HEAP, WE CAN MOVE HOMELESS TENTS RIGHT THERE”

4.   “WHEN I DEMAND HIGHER TAXES, YOU THINK ANYONE IN THE LEGISLATURE HAS THE @#$% TO STOP ME?”

3.      “CAMPAIGNING FOR GOVERNOR IS A BIT LIKE SPEED DATING.   I AM SO GREAT AT BOTH, DONTCHA THINK?”

2.   “&%$# OR @#$%, BUT EITHER WAY, YOU BETTER &%$# VOTE THE RIGHT @#$%& WAY, PEOPLE!’   

…and the NUMBER ONE TRIAL CAMPAIGN SLOGAN for CONGRESSWOMAN KATIE PORTER (the LEADING DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE for GOVERNOR of CALIFORNIA) is:

1. ​“SOME PEOPLE FEEL THREATENED BY AN ASSERTIVE WOMAN. BUT I’M REALLY VULGAR, TOO.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. Mississippi River:   Captain must avoid hitting large catfish, kayakers and occasional alligators.

Cuba:     Captain must avoid hitting rafts jammed with desperate people escaping.

9.  Mississippi:   Even from miles off shore, you can hear the call of a coyote or an eagle.

Cuba:   If the winds are right, even from miles off shore, you might hear a firing squad.

8.  Docking in Memphis means a blues concert, fine meals, a selection of newspapers and the ability to load up on ammo.

Docking in Havana means military rations, a party-controlled “newspaper,” and ammo for secret police only.

7.  Mississippi:  As you disembark in port, you might spot singer Vince Gill or former governor Lamar Alexander.

Cuba:   As you disembark in port, you might spot former dictator Raul Castro in his limousine, or fugitive bomber William Morales relaxing on a beach.

6. Mississippi:   Hunters’ rifles pointed inland at trophy game like bear and deer.

Cuba:  Army rifles pointed offshore at your cruise ship, “just to show you who’s boss.”

5. Mississippi:  On some nights in upper Minnesota , you can see the Northern Lights.

Cuba:      On many nights, electricity is rationed.

4.   Mississippi:   Even from Illinois, you can see the St. Louis Arch.

In Cuba, you can see real Russians on naval maneuvers.

3. Iconic TV shows available in your ship’s stateroom:

On the American river:  “60 Minutes” and “Swamp Thing.”

Nearing Cuba:   “You Bet Your Life” (…and not the Groucho version).

2.  Docking in American cities, you can receive the most advanced medical care in the world.

In Cuba: “do you happen to know supreme leader Miguel Diaz-Canel or Raul Castro?”

…AND THE #1 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SAILING the MISSISSIPPI RIVER vs. CRUISING CUBAN WATERS IS:

1.  Picayune-Times journalist overheard in New Orleans:   “I live in a great country.   I can denounce President Trump or President Biden any time I like.”

Cuban “journalist” overheard in Havana:     “I too live in a great country.   I can denounce President Trump any time I like.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10.   Zohran actually believes in socialism.

9.    Kim is not about to de-fund his police.

8.  Neither Kim nor Mamdani get much pushback from local “news” organizations.

7.  Kim thinks “Intifada” is a tasty falafel not available in ​ North Korea.

6.   Kim used to call himself a  “democratic” socialist,  …. for a while.

5.  Kim and Zohran both think government-owned food stores are great.   Kim swears that people can get their dog meat at affordable prices –  –   when available.

4.   Kim is wooing the New York & American Stock Exchanges with lower taxes and free kimchee.    Zohran says:  “Good riddance!”

3.  Pyong Yang is already Zohran’s “congestion pricing” dream:   only 2% can afford cars (the Communist elite) there.

2.   Kim’s new “Wonsan-Kalma” saltwater resort caters to Russians…   sort of like Brooklyn’s Coney Island beachfront.

         …and the NUMBER ONE COMPARISON BETWEEN NORTH KOREA’S KIM JONG-UN and MAYORAL CANDIDATE ZOHRAN MAMDANI is…

1.     If Mamdani chases the Knicks & Nets out of NYC….   guess who’d LOVE an NBA franchise?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

​10.   “DID YOU ​EVER CONSIDER ‘WORD SALAD’ FOR YOUR SECRET SERVICE NAME?

​   9.   “WHILE SIGNING BOOKS, DO YOU REFLECT ON THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE PASSAGE OF TIME?”

8.   “WHAT WAS WILLIE BROWN REALLY LIKE?”

7.   “NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME, WILL YOU VISIT THE BORDER AND EUROPE?”

6.   “CAN YOU RECALL ANOTHER VICE PRESIDENT WHO DROPPED AN ‘F-BOMB’ IN A MEMOIR?   MAYBE ALBEN BARCLAY?'”

5.   “IF ‘CYCLIN’ PETE BUTTIGIEG WAS ‘TOO GAY’ TO BE YOUR RUNNING MATE, WOULD YOU SAY THAT TIMOTHY WALZ IS ‘GAY-LITE?'”

​​      4.   “IF THAT’S REALLY YOU ON YOUR AUDIO BOOK, HOW COME THERE’S NO CACKLE?”

3.   “DID YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL THAT ‘NANNY’ DRAMA BEFORE YOU MARRIED MR. DOUG?”

2.   “MY DAD GAVE ME THESE CRAYONS SO I COULD COLOR YOUR BOOK.”

…and the NUMBER ONE QUESTION HEARD DURING KAMALA’S BOOK TOUR is…

1.   “IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT IF YOU HAD MORE THAN 107 DAYS TO CAMPAIGN….    EVEN MORE PEOPLE WOULD HAVE VOTED AGAINST YOU?”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

     1o.    WHICH ANTHEM DO YOU PREFER,  STALIN  AND CASTRO’S “THE INTERNATIONALE,”  OR THE CCP’S “THE EAST IS RED?”       

       9.       HOW DOES MRS. MAMDANI FEEL ABOUT CREEPY GUYS IN THE LADIES’ ROOM?

8.  WHICH BERET ARE YOU MORE LIKELY TO WEAR?   CURTIS SLIWA’S RED MODEL, OR KILLER CHE GUEVARA’S BLACK ONE?

7.   AS A SOCIALIST, WHEN DO YOU THINK YOU WILL RUN OUT OF OTHER NEW YORKERS’ MONEY?

6.  IS YOUR VISION FOR A FUTURE NEW YORK CLOSER TO HAVANA OR PYONG YANG?

5.   IF YOUR TAX POLICIES CAUSE THE STOCK EXCHANGES TO LEAVE THE CITY…   WOULD YOU AT LEAST WAVE GOOD-BYE??

4.  COPS WENT TO A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CALL THIS WEEK, AND FIVE WERE SHOT, WITH THREE MURDERED.   IS THIS THE SORT OF CALL YOU’D SEND SOCIAL WORKERS TO INSTEAD?

3.  IF ELECTED, HOW WILL YOU VET ILLEGAL MIGRANTS BEFORE GIVING THEM SANCTUARY IN GRACIE MANSION?

2.    IF “GLOBALIZE THE INTIFADA” DOESN’T MEAN KILLING JEWS, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

…and the NUMBER ONE SUGGESTED “LIGHTNING ROUND” QUESTIONS for SOCIALIST/DEMOCRAT MAYORAL CANDIDATE ZOHRAN MAMDANI is…

1. CAMPAIGN CAMERA CREWS FILM YOU in the SUBWAYS.   BUT DO YOU EVER RIDE THEM ALONE LATE AT NIGHT?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

In memory of Charlie Kirk and all those who died on 9/11/2001 and since then from World Trade Center- related illnesses, we are not posting this week.

It’s our version of a “moment of silence.”    Pax Christi to Charlie, his family.  and to all victims of evil.

10.  The Girl with the Biden Tattoo–  (Jen Psaki pens a memoir of her White House years)

9.  Fahrenheit 451  – (Stacey Abrams creates a dystopian tale of extreme global warming, to justify her scoring a mind-boggling $2 billion “climate” grant from her friends in the Biden White House)

8.   Gone With the Wind  –  (Mayor Bill DeBlasio’s wife has yet to explain how New Yorkers benefitted in any way from the $1 billion “mental health” program her husband gifted to her)

7.   ​Love in the Time of Covid –    (Congresswoman AOC gets engaged during the pandemic and the couple attends the elite “Met Gala,” brandishing a socialist slogan on her dress…. but WITHOUT masks!)

6.  The Unbearable Lightness of Tim Walz  –  (Whether wondering aloud if the president has expired or placing tampon machines in boys’ bathrooms, the goofy governor always fails to “read the room”)

5.    Vampire Academy   –  (A no-experience kid Assemblyman prepares to seize power in the world’s financial capital, bursting with socialist schemes to drain taxpayers’ wallets & paychecks)

4.  A Confederacy of Dunces –  (James Carville shakes his metaphorical head as he contemplates a future Dem nominee to be drawn from the likes of Kamala, Gavin, Buttigieg, AOC and Rosie​ O’Donnell)

3.  The Old Man and the Sea​   –   (A failed ex-president gazes out at Delaware Bay, as he dreams of glory days in family grifting…)

2.  Lolita Beijing–   (A married California Congressman “mentors” young Fang-Fang, never apologizing when her espionage career is revealed to the world.  He continues to be re-elected.)

…and the NUMBER ONE BOOK RELEASE for AUTUMN ’25 is….

1. Where the Wild Things Are (​Even “progressive” Mayor Brandon Johnson admits he wouldn’t ride the Chicago subway’s “Blue Line” from downtown to O’Hare Airport)

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .