10. NY State “honors” the Second Amendment; however, ammunition may only be purchased exclusively at “ Red’s Bait & Tackle” in Sharon Springs. Red is the underachieving brother of the beloved local Assemblyman.
9. Food trucks and lemonade stands in all 62 counties must prominently display a ratified labor agreement, next to the menu.
8. In Albany and Erie counties, the property taxes of registered Republicans may be levied at a rate up to (but not exceeding) 35% higher than other registrants.
7. Within NY state waters, as of July 5, it will be a Class “B” felony for a shark to assault any resident, including “asylum seekers.”
6. By September 1, all public and charter high schools must install cannabis vending machines in their gender-free rest rooms.
5. Migrants housed in hotels and dormitories may access the mini-bar and one premium movie channel, 24/7.
4. It is now a Class “A” misdemeanor to restrain or impede anyone carrying stolen merchandise, in any way.
3. The Mario Cuomo (Tappan Zee) Bridge has been re-named the “Bill de Blasio Escape from New York Gangway.”
2. Governor Hochul’s new “Gun Free Zones” do not apply to elected officials nor celebrities (as anointed by the co-hosts of “The View”)
…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER-KNOWN BILL PASSED IN the FINAL DAYS of the NY STATE LEGISLATIVE SESSION is…
1. There shall not be hiring or employment discrimination against any person presenting “thereself” for work or hiring in full “drag queen regalia.”
This law shall include the evening news anchor positions at CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN and MSNBC
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary and is NOT a source of real news To communicate with the editor, please email herbstupp@gmail.com
