10. “Everyone who’s taken high school math figured out my wealth tax is crazy.”
9. “Apparently, height really is a big deal for voters.”
8. ” If only I was married to Hunter Biden…” (excuse shared by male & female candidates)
7. “We all believe in free health care for illegals, but maybe my free car lease plan went too far.”
6. “My internal poll revealed that 39% of Democrats thought Klobuchar was a Czech casserole.”
5. “If only my husband didn’t look so ‘South Bend’ in campaign portraits.”
4. “They used to say that as Samoa goes, so goes the nation.”
3. “Make me your running mate, and I’ll be the Yang to your Ying.”
2. “That Biden can rig sweet jobs for his family, but I can’t even throw a phone at my staff?”
…and the NUMBER ONE EXCUSE WHILE ENDING YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN is:
1. “If I just sacrificed a few Starbucks a week, I coulda found another $620 million.”
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