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TOP TEN BENEFITS PROGRESSIVES are EXPECTING from NYC’S NEW “CONGESTION PRICING” TAX/TOLL:

 

  1.  Traffic will ebb so much, you’ll be able to ride your skateboard through the Midtown Tunnel.

 

  1.   The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) will be able to pay lots more subway cleaners $100,000 pensions when they retire.

 

  1.  Millions will return to the safety of the subways.

 

​     7.  Look for this new phenomenon:  “canoeing commuters.”

 

  1.    The MTA will be able to keep ignoring the 40% of Bronx bus riders who refuse to pay their fares.

 

  1.   Once $1 billion is collected in new tolls/taxes, the fourth car in every subway train will be the “dining carriage.”   The sixth car will offer cannabis sales.

 

  1.   MTA leaders can finally upgrade to new limousines.

 

  1.  When a restaurant loses most of its dining traffic, you can always score a good table (until they close).

 

  1.  What else could unite the teachers’ union and a Republican Borough President in opposition? 

 

…and the NUMBER ONE BENEFIT PROGRESSIVES are EXPECTING from NYC’S NEW “CONGESTION PRICING” TAX/TOLL is:

 

  1. Who knew the price of used helicopters would spike over this?

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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