(This TOP TEN is a reworked version of an Obama-era TOP TEN from 2016. When will our elected leaders take the Iranians’ threats seriously?”
10. Iconic view of Mount Tochal from Tehran obscured by stacks of new ICBM missiles.
- High-stepping Iranian Guards regiment leading off beloved “Macy’s Thanksgiving parade” on Broadway.
- Fox’s late night host Greg Gutfield goes on vacation. Guest host: Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah
- The good news: Finally, a woman appears on the $20 bill.
The bad news: Thanks to the hijab, we can’t tell who she is.
6. Cover-page headline on “Cosmopolitan” magazine: “EXCITING NEW BURQAS to DRIVE HIM WILD!“
5, Starbucks introduces new espresso beverage for middle America: Bani Sadr Tabriz Truffle
- For six days now, callers to London and Berlin always get that creepy “busy circuit” buzz.
- Most popular baby names in the USA, 2022: “Noah” and “Olivia”
Most popular baby names in the USA, 2023: “Abdul-Fazi” and “Nazanin-Sahra”
- “People” magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive?” — Supreme Leader Ali Khameni !! (That vain Supreme Leader! For the photo shoot, his robes were clearly more form fitting.)
…and the NUMBER ONE WAY THAT JOSEPH BIDEN and SECRETARY BLINKEN WILL be ABLE to TELL if IRAN is CHEATING on the NUCLEAR AGREEMENT THEY are PUSHING is…
- In place of the U.S. national anthem, public address announcer in Philadelphia’s Wells Fargo Arena intones: “Gentlemen, please rise and remove your turbans, as we chant ‘Death to the Hoyas!'”
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.
While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back. Enjoy!
To communicate with the editor, please e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org .