10. Quick! Buy “Air Greenland” stock this morning!
9. Leading candidate for governor of the great new State of Greenland campaigns on slogan: “Og, hvis valgt, jeg lover at holde disse forfærdelige Cuomo “trængsel prissætning ” vejafgifter ud af Grønland .” (And, if elected, I promise to keep those horrible Cuomo ‘congestion pricing’ tolls out of Greenland!”)
8. Save tax dollars by copying state flag of California, but photo-shop polar bear on to it.
7. Pizza Hut to roll out tasty “blubber” toppings nation-wide.
6. Just imagine those red, American-made hats: “Gor Gronland Godt Igen” (“Make Greenland Great Again,” in Danish).
5. “Miss USA” will no longer face swimsuit competition from “Miss Greenland.”
4. Your next NBA franchise: The “Nuuk Musk Oxen”
3. Believe it or not, the homeless issue really recedes here in winter.
2. Cheeky, newly-elected state legislators can re-name municipality of “Upernavik” as “Clothing Optional Dunes.”
…and the NUMBER ONE ADVANTAGE to GREENLAND BECOMING the 51st STATE is:
1. Who doesn’t want their own piece of “The Igloos at Trump Fjords?”
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.
While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back. Enjoy!
To communicate with the editor, please e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org .