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THE 12 DAYS (NOT the TOP TEN) of CHRISTMAS (2020 version)


 For the uninitiated who want to sing this version around their Christmas tree (also approved for Hanukkah celebrations), here is how the traditional “12 Days” is sung:  You sing each of the song’s 12 lines, in ascending numerical order.   But then you only repeat the “gifts” already received.  

For example:  Start the song with “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a partridge in a pear tree.”  But here is how your verse would sound in mid-song:  “On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six geese-a-laying, five go-o-o-ld rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.”

 Try that format with today’s creation, below.  Note that singers are expected to dra-a-ag out the syllables on the gift of the “5th Day of Christmas,”in this case “Five Jus – tice – es.”

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – A tax hike for you and for me.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

     – Two Georgia Senators.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

   – Three softball questions.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

  – Four screeching Marxists.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

   – F-i-i-ve jus- tice – es.

– On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

    – Six Swallwell escorts.

– On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

   – Seven abandoned laptops.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

  – Eight righteous pardons.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

 – Nine Space Force Guardians.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

  – Ten Biden interviews.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

 – Eleven Commies spying.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

 -Twelve million mail votes.​

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2020 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

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