- For White House press secretary Karine Jean- Pierre— some believable material
- For Harvey Weinstein — a nice, long prison term in an all-male facility
- For Brittney Griner — voice lessons for her first solo performance of the Star Spangled Banner at a WNBA game
- For Michael Avenatti — a complete collection of Donald J. Trump “superhero” trading cards
(exchangable for cigarettes in prison)
- For Kamala — a special GPS that never strays from the Rio Grande River region
- For Joseph Biden — a promise from Hunter to enter the seminary
- For Brian Stelter & Chris Cuomo — new “gigs” co-anchoring the evening “news” in Pyong Yang, North Korea (will work for food?)
- For Gavin Newsom & Kathy Hochul — an endless caravan of rich people willing to be taxed ruthlessly
- For DHS Secretary Alejandro Majorkas — a well-honed poker face for those moments when you simply have to lie to Congress
….and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS OR HANUKKAH GIFT FOR a CELEBRITY is….
1. For Chuck Schumer – a wind-powered, portable microphones-and-cameras set that will follow him anywhere
MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HANUKKAH from “YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST!”
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
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