10. Iconic view of Mount Tochal from Tehran obscured by stacks of new ICBM missiles.
9. High-stepping Iranian Guards regiment leading off beloved “St. Patrick’s Day Parade” in Manhattan.
8. Front-page headline on “Cosmopolitan” magazine: “EXCITING NEW BURQAS TO DRIVE HIM WILD!”
7. McDonalds introduces espresso beverage: Bani Sadr Tabriz Truffle
6. For six days now, callers to Tel Aviv and Paris always get that creepy “busy circuit” buzz.
5. “People” magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive?” — Supreme Leader Ali Khameni (That vain Supreme Leader! For the photo shoot, his robes were clearly more form fitting.)
4. Most popular baby names in the USA, 2021: ”Liam” and ”Olivia”
Most popular baby names in the USA, 2022: “Abdul-Fazi” and “Nazanin-Sahra”
3. The good news: Finally, a woman appears on the $20 bill.
The bad news: Thanks to the hijab, we can’t tell who she is.
2. “The Tonight Show’s” Jimmy Fallon goes on vacation.
Guest host: former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
And…. the #1 way Joseph Biden, Kamala and Antony Blinken can tell if Iran is cheating on the nuclear agreement they are planning :
1. At the 7th inning stretch in Dodger Stadium, public address announcer intones: “Gentlemen, please rise and remove your turbans, as we chant “Death to the Giants.”
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