10. Kim Jong-un: “With enough kimchi, we can divvy up this turkey among 26 million loyal North Korean subjects.”
9. Andrew Cuomo: “Mom, you want take out this year?”
8. Insurance salesman near Del Rio, Texas: “Honey, my cousins are here… please don’t refer to them as ‘the Caravan’ again.”
7. Prince Harry and Meghan: “We applaud all concerned citizens of the world, who join us this year in celebrating a ‘sustainable’ Thankgiving.” (MESSAGE FAXED FROM THEIR PRIVATE JET, CIRCLING LAX WHILE THE COUPLE FINISHES THEIR MEAL.)
6. Chris Cuomo: “Andrew, brutha, you doing take out this year?”
5. Vladimir Putin: “Nuthin’ better with a Moscow Mule than Chicken Kiev.”
4. MSNBC anchor: “We have a report that Vice President Kamala Harris hunted for her Thanksgiving turkey this morning.”
3. Grandmother in Littleton, Colorado: “Check out the living room, dear. I think the boys all fell asleep watching the football game.“
Her daughter: “No, Mom, that’s a Joseph Biden speech on the screen.”
2. Rep. Ilhan Omar: “Thanksgiving may be racist, but I just don’t go for Jello-mold.”
…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD on THANKSGIVING LAST MONTH is…
1. Joseph Biden: “Omicron? Is that French guy acting up again?”
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