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THE TWELVE (NOT the TOP TEN) DAYS of CHRISTMAS (2021 VERSION)…


 For the uninitiated who want to sing this version around their Christmas tree (also approved for Hanukkah celebrations), here is how the traditional “12 Days” is sung:  You sing each of the song’s 12 lines, in ascending numerical order.   But then you only repeat the “gifts” already received.  

For example:  Start the song with “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a partridge in a pear tree.”  But here is how your verse would sound in mid-song:  “On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six geese-a-laying, five go-o-o-ld rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.”

 Try that format with today’s creation, below.  Note that singers are expected to dra-a-ag out the syllables on the gift of the “5th Day of Christmas,” in this case “Five Glenn Young – kinnsss.”

– On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         –A tax hike for you and for me

– On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Two Cuomos whining.

-On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – Three Hunter “art” sales.

 – On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  Four Bidens grifting.

– On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – Fi-i-i-ve  Glenn Young – kinsss.

– On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Six CNN viewers.

– On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Seven Veeps a – cackling.

– On the eighth day of Christmas, BILL CLINTON gave to me:

         – Eight maids-a-milking.   (We had to take one set of gifts from the original song!)

– On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –    Nine fake Times headlines.

–  On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –  Ten percent inflation.

–  On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

           –  Eleven phony ballots .

–  On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

            – Twelve worldwide crises.

Yuletide blessings for the Christmas and Hannukah seasons to all “Top Ten” readers and your families, and good tidings to all for 2022.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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