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TOP TEN THANKSGIVING DINNER INVOCATIONS:

10. “Lord…. This is, Donald, your humble servant….   Please let them pick Crazy Bernie.”    –  President Trump

9. “A $100 tax on each turkey wouldn’t even be noticed.  Not in Cambridge.”     – US Senator Elizabeth Warren

8. “Please attack me again.   Please, Hillary.   You have enough bile left for one more fake smear.”                             –US Rep. Tulsi Gabbard

7. “Lord, with your blessing and a mere quadrupling of our ratings, we can defeat this man.”   – CNN President Jeff Zucker

6. “Almighty, steer liberal viewers toward my countless brilliant TV commercials, and not those gawdawful debates.”  – Michael Bloomberg

5. “Dear Pops, wherever you are.  Teach me how to divvy up one medium turkey among 26 million people.”  – North Korean “leader” Kim Jong-un

4. “Help us to convince our brethren that Trump was guilty of something in Ukraine, while Biden was not.”    – Simulcast Prayer broadcast from US Reps. Pelosi, Schiff and Nadler

3. “Let us count our blessings.   Hey, at least I am still a prince.”  – Andrew, Duke of York

2. “Turkey?   Can I just have two rolls of toilet paper?”  – Venezuelan shopper

…and the NUMBER ONE THANKSGIVING DINNER INVOCATION was:

1. “Shower thy blessings on those who have been so expansively and energetically generous to us at MSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, the New York Times and the Washington Post.”    –  Democrat National Committee Chairman Tom Perez

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

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