Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.   So, American personnel in the middle east are being moved elsewhere?   Are they sunbathing on our Caspian beaches?

9.   How did this Taco Bell delivery guy get past security?

8.    Suppose we sent our turbans out for cleaning, and “donned” MAGA hats for a while?  LOL

7.   No, I didn’t sleep well, either.

6.   Most holy and supreme leader, we would never evacuate you to Greenland.

5.    If I can even find a flight, would you prefer Moscow, St. Petersburg, Havana or Pyong Yang?   Not too many mosques anywhere.

4.   Is there any caviar left?

3. You think that dang Trump knows exactly where we are?   Or that I am drinking sinful alcohol right now?

2.   I heard that the Shah’s son really likes the view from my office.

…and the NUMBER ONE INTERCEPTED TEXT MESSAGE AMONG IRANIAN “LEADERS” is…

1. Suppose we stopped hanging & shooting people and relaxed the dress code?

Your “Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended to provide humorous commentary and is NOT a source of real news.   To communicate with the editor, please try:   Herbstupp@gmail.com .   Thank you for reading, and please subscribe for free.

10.   Can you ask the boss:  If Venezuela becomes a state, can I be appointed governor?

9.    Your honor, before you remand me to detention, might I remind you of the MTA’s critical shortage of bus drivers?

8.  Wow, these American copters are a lot more luxurious than our Russian ones.  Padded seats, even.

7.  How did you girls get past my crack Cuban henchmen?

6.  From up here, flying  over Brooklyn, I don’t see any electricity blackouts At all.

5.  Admit it, my jumpsuit reminds you of your astronauts,right?

4.  No, Mr. Maduro.  In this place, there is no “massage and spa hour.”   Not even for Mrs. Maduro.

3.  Your honor, in this Metropolitan Detention Center of yours, can you be sure to assign me to Diddy’s floor…. And not to Luigi’s?

2.   Sorry Mrs. Maduro.    We have no vacancies for a job title called “Concierge.”

—-and the NUMBER ONE LINE OVERHEARD DURING the “TRANSFER” of COMANDANTE NICOLAS MADURO to NEW YORK CITY is:

1.   I’m not a real commie….  Though I do love the uniforms.  Now, your new mayor here….  There’s a real commie!

Your “Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended to provide humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.   To communicate with the editor, please try:   Herbstupp@gmail.com .   Thank you for reading, and please subscribe for free.

10.       You believe in “cancelling” student loan debts, NOT transferring unpaid loans to taxpayers. 

9.   Blocking traffic is your “First Amendment right,” but shouting down a cmpus speaker ends “hate speech.” 

   8. You just might experiment with a new gender for yourself in 2026.                                                                                                                                                                                               
   7. “Choice” never includes parental school choice                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            6. You limit your flag burning to those of the United States and Israel.5.   You’ve really learned a lot from Greta Thunberg and “The View.”

             4.   While circling in your private jet, you call in to CNN on the mobile phone to denounce the “climate emergency.”

            3.   Due to constant wearing, your “Zohran” t-shirt is fading already.

2.   Paying a “fair share” in taxes is always for somebody else.

…AND THE NUMBER ONE TIP-OFF THAT YOU are a certified progressive is:

1.     That AOC tattoo you are too modest to show us.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2026 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .