- Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was bicycling to Indiana to adopt triplets and “earn” triple paternity leave.
- Attorney General Garland borrowed John Kerry’s private jet to take his annual “Continuing Legal Education” courses…. in Cuba.
- VP Kamala “took no calls” for three days at the Vice President’s Naval Observatory residence, so she could carefully study aerial and satellite images of our southern border.
- Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen took a 3-hour “mental health” and espresso break after processing the difference between a billion, trillion and gazillion.
- Although staff feared he might be in violent San Francisco, Governor Newsom was finally discovered in a Yountsville, California meadow, 146 yards from his beloved French Laundry, sleeping off the “caviar-and-vodka” tasting menu.
- Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas flew to an ‘anti-impeachment coaching and spa’ weekend in Lebanon, Kansas, the remote point equidistant from both the Mexican and Canadian borders.
- Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm simply got stranded for 46 hours in Bourbon County, Kentucky, seeking a tow to an electric vehicle charging station.
- Miguel Cardona, Secretary of Education, was cloistered in “Dr. Jill’s” Northern Virginia Community College, taking the advanced “cursive writing” course.
- In full headdress, US Senator Elizabeth Warren drove across the NY state border to personally apply for a coveted “Native American Gaming Casino” license. The round-trip and paperwork consumed 28 hours of “personal time.”
…and the NUMBER ONE EXCUSE a SENIOR OFFICIAL COULD GIVE for GOING “AWOL” is…
1. Vladimir Putin was “off the Russian grid” nearly four hours. Apparently, he was riding a horse in Red Square, shirtless. There were no witnesses or recorded photographs.
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