- “Mistletoe” – Bill Clinton sings to the Rockettes
- “Run Run Rudolph” – Frightened by Mamdani Transition Team nut jobs, more New Yorkers want 81-year old Mayor Giuliani back
- “Rockin’ Around the Winter Solstice Snowperson” – sung by a chorus of university presidents and fellow traveling agnostics
- “I’m Dreaming of a White Supremacist” – the White House press corps croons for its fondest hope
- “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Pyong Yang” – “Socialist” candidates inspired by Zohran & AOC are popping up in many states
- “Meli Kalikimaka” – US Senator Mazie Hirono (D-Hawaii) warbles from atop 11,000 foot Haleakala peak on Maui, just in case climate change submerges most of her state into the Pacific
- “All I Want for Christmas is some Patriot Missiles” – Volodomyr Zelensky
- “Jingle Bells” – Joy Reid claims the song is racist, so what does that make WHITE Christmas??
- “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” – US Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer gets ready to shut down the Federal government again
…and the NUMBER ONE HOLIDAY SONG WE’D LOVE to HEAR is….
- “O Come All Somalians” – Minnesota Governor Timothy Walz blames others for the billions stolen from under his nose
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