10. Get “objective” CNN anchor to conduct a “hard hitting” interview with him
9. When appearing with females at public events, wear catchers’ mitts on both hands
8. Reveal plan to abolish NY state income tax by 2024 (How did this crazy idea slip in here?)
7. During marshal arts cage match, get Mayor DeBlasio to cry “uncle” during headlock
6. Offer Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie 24/7 use of the Governor’s state airplane
5. Point out that if impeached & convicted, he would instantly become homeless and remain on the state payroll
4. Claim that he’s turned over a new leaf, then appear in a male burka
3. Get taxpayer-funded Governor’s staff to begin ghostwriting his next book: You Too Can Become an Irresistable Albany Bachelor
2. Quickly produce supportive TV ads from Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and Gov. Ralph Northam
…and the NUMBER ONE WAY THAT Governor ANDREW CUOMO MIGHT REMAIN in OFFICE is:
- Come out as a female in transition. “Andrea” would make sense.
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.
While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back. Enjoy!
To communicate with the editor, please e-mail email@example.com .