10. So, you’re a “vegan,” Senator Booker? I liked that Mr. Spock character too.
9. Sorry, Congresswoman Gabbard. Ain’t no “lettuce on a stick” around here.
8. A huge cow made out of butter? Back in San Francisco, we have a 20-foot rat made from marijuana joints.
7. No, I won’t eat meat. But as your president, I would defend Lady Gaga’s right to wear it.
6. Senator Warren, does the Constitution really protect cannibalism?
5. I thought Pork Rinds played the fiddle for Rascal Flatts.
4. Maybe if I told you this steer died of natural causes…
3. Governor Enslee, the most carbon-friendly meat is actually squirrel. Boiled or grilled?
2. If your magic crystals can make this watercress taste like pulled pork, y’got my vote, Miss Williamson.
…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT MADE to a PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE at the MEAT-FRIENDLY IOWA STATE FAIR is:
1. Senator Sanders, the “Wing Ding” dinner isn’t named for the entrees, but for your crazy platform.
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