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TOP TEN SURPRISES AROUND the U.S. SUPREME COURT BUILDING as this SESSION ENDS:

 ​10.  I​n a 6-3 decision written by Justice Gorsuch, employment discrimination against LGBTQ individuals was struck down, based on a new interpretation of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.   

However, in a show of hands, all nine justices agreed that, in the workplace, show tunes ought never to be played above 102 decibels.  

9.  About ten feet from the Court’s official 2020 photo location, neatly draped over a chair, is one pair of men’s trousers.

8.  Following the court’s 5-4 “McGirty v. Oklahoma” decision,  recognizing the sovereignty of the Lakota & Cherokee nations, nine free passes to the Dancing Bear Casino arrived by courier from a Tulsa address.

7.   Upholding the First Amendment’s freedom of religion clause, the Court’s “Little Sisters of the Poor v. Pennsylvania” decision enshrined the right of the Catholic nuns to avoid compulsion to provide benefits for what they consider to be sinful activity.   

In the ladies’ restroom at the court, there was gratuitous graffitto comparing the sisters to that Sally Field character.  

 6.  In the Justices’ Dining Room, a “bong” stained with lipstick was found near the microwave.

5. With many arguments before the court taking place by telephone and “Zoom,” during one appeal, an unidentified voice referred to a  justice as “an over-educated twerp.”

 4.  The “Barr v. American Association of Political Consultants” decision concluded that robocalls for political causes and debt collection were protected free speech. 

However, two justices admitted, during oral argument, that they had personally stalked and threatened debt collectors.

 3.  A little known decision that strengthens officials’ ability to verify actual, legal residents of the state requires that those on line to vote in Texas must continually dance the two-step.

2.  The mixed ” Vance v. Trump” decision concluded that sitting presidents may be subject to criminal subpoenas, but referred the Congressional quest for the President’s tax records back to lower courts. 

 In his written explanation to the president, the Chief Justice suggested that the most effective way to respond to Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance ​may be a well-executed head lock. 

…and the NUMBER ONE SURPRISE AROUND the U.S. SUPREME COURT BUILDING as this SESSION ENDS is:

 1.  In “Kelmell v. Florida​​,” the court affirmed the long-standing requirement that police read the “Miranda rights” to all apprehended persons.   However, police may now inform arrestees about exciting current promotions from Amway, Mary Kay and Avon, as well.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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