10. “I have to go all the way to Warsaw for a Big Mac? Really?”
9. “ Wow, this babe on “Moscow-mingle.com” is looking for a real man who’s not ashamed of his nuclear arsenal.”
8. “Who says that I’m polling worse than Congress?”
7. “Time for a new shirtless ride on horseback.”
6. “ When Stephanopoulos is on vacay, maybe I can guest host GMA…”
5. “ Ya’think the troops would accept payment in Bitcoin and vodka?”
4. “Get a hold of yourself, Vlady-boy. Stalin never cried….”
3. “ Looks like we won’t be hosting the Olympics any time soon.”
2. “ I guess ol’ Kim Jong-un just doesn’t have any food to spare.”
…and the NUMBER ONE INNERMOST THOUGHT of VLADIMIR PUTIN is…
1. “ Y’know, I could rein in that Amber Heard right quick.”
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