- The pre-paid Food Stamp credit cards are fine, but, OH! Those pre-paid “Fan Duel” gambling cards!
- Judgmental “illegal migrant” moniker to be replaced with “guest brand ambassador.”
- “No-photo TSA clearance” to be outdone by No-photo drivers’ licenses.
- New NYC Adams administration “frequent guest” program: “Stay 10 days in the $383-a-night Roosevelt Hotel, earn two free nights at any non-Trump hotel.“
- “Recreation hour’ in migrant housing is operated by Equinox Fitness.
- Cash prizes at the “Migrant Olympics,” where competitions include traversing a river, scaling a wall and stealing live poultry.
- Looks like we can actually use all these mail-in absentee ballots.
- Those “Times Square Gun Free Zone” signs don’t apply to us.
- Hey, it’s off-season. Let’s fly back to Martha’s Vineyard !
…and the NUMBER ONE “AMENITY” OFFERED by NYC, as VOTED by ILLEGAL MIGRANTS is…
- You can trade fentanyl for weed almost anywhere.
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