- “What does ‘All-Gender Restroom’ mean?” -Nana Addo Dankara Akufo Addo, President of Ghana
- “Some ambassador asked me to be here today. That’s who, buddy!” — “Miss Cha Cha,” Turtle Bay Classy Escorts
- “Hey guys, I am flush with cash this week. Hummus and warheads are on me!” – Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran, Ali Hasseini Khamenei
- “Y’know, some of those climate rioters are REAL Communists!” – Oh Joon, Ambassador of North Korea to the United Nations
- “That must be Al Gore, John Kerry and Leo DiCaprio hovering overhead in the triple-blade helicopter.” – Dr. Ozone Shields, chairperson, “Ban Fossil Fuels Now, Inc.”
- “I am so happy to be back here in South Carolina.” – President Joseph Biden
- “I am proud to bring you greetings from President Xi, along with spotted lantern flies, secret police surveillance, spy balloons, hypersonic missiles, and a new wave of lab-hatched Covid.” – Cao Dung, Ambassador of China to the United Nations
- “Whether it is cash from a Biden family member or any of the other Excellencies present, your off-shore accounts are always safe with us!” -Hampton Rockyfeller, Deputy Premier, Grand Cayman
- “Yoo-hoo, Vladimir! Betcha didn’t think we’d be in NATO this quickly, did you?” – Sauli Niinisto, President of Finland
…and the NUMBER ONE REMARK OVERHEARD THIS WEEK at the 78th GENERAL ASSEMBLY of the UNITED NATIONS is:
- “Sarge, we can’t ticket ANY of these idling limos in the ‘No Standing’ zones?” – NYPD Officers Gunther Toody and Francis Muldoon
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