Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  Joy Reid sings “I’m Dreaming of a White Supremacist”

9.   U.S. Senator Maizie Hirono sings “Meli Kalikimaka” via Zoom, concerned that climate change and rising seas could flood her Hawaiian estate.

8.   Governor Tim “Tampon” Walz blames Trump as Minnesota state government hands out free turkeys and cash for bazookas to fellow travelers of the Somali terrorist “Al Shabaab” network

7.   Doing her best Eartha Kitt impression, Congresswoman Maxine Waters sings “Santa Baby” to putative House Speaker Hakeem Jeffries, hoping for more blank-check largesse for her L.A.- area district

    6,    NY Governor Kathleen Hochul opens her stocking to reveal a 34-year old Mayor-elect demanding billions in new wasteful spending, plus business-killing taxes

5.   Paid “protesters” launch frozen snowballs at hard-working “I.C.E. ” agents, injuring some as co-hosts of “The View” applaud.

4.   Working towards socialist victories in 2026 and 2028, Congresswoman AOC gleefully predicts, “This could be your last Christmas ever!”

3.    Joseph Biden asks :   “Winter solstice?”

2.   Mayor Brandan Johnson playing “Mr. Claus,” a secular elf providing many thousands of checks each month to undeserving Chicagoans in the form of a “guaranteed annual income.”

…and the NUMBER ONE MOMENT in a POTENTIAL “WINTER SOLSTICE HOLIDAY SPECIAL” on MSDNC is…

1. Devoted to Mr. Claus, Gov. J. D. Pritzker offers heavy lifting while wearing a brown body stocking and extra-large antlers.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

​  10.  I had no idea that explosion was Cousin ​Swallwell deep-frying his first turkey.   Is ​everyone OK?

​  9.  Next year, if Mayor Mamdani gets prostitution legalized, what​ will our neighbors do on Black Friday?

  ​8. Could you pass the turkey and stuffing, made possible by the most vibrant economy in world history?

  ​7. Who’s that cute friend you brought?  Ya’ think she unmasks on the first date?

6. I hear that Melania is a great cook.​  Ever tried “Slovenian Stuffing?”

5. ‘Ceptin’ the Jello-mold, we personally hunted for all this food.

4. So, what do you think Omar and Tlaib are doing today?  

3. The Pilgrims sailed for 3 months, and there was no canned cranberry sauce?

2.  Are those real mashed potatoes, or are they corrupted, like voting in Philly or ​Chicago?

…and the NUMBER ONE DEFLECTING REMARK, to AVOID DISCUSSING POLITICS at the THANKSGIVING TABLE is:

1. All of our bathrooms are gender-neutral, of course.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. “SO WHAT WAS THIS ALL ABOUT?’    -Rep. Eric Swallwell (CA)     (follows with a rude noise)

9.     “LET’S CALL UP JOSEPH BIDEN AND GET HIS TAKE ON THIS…”          –  Rep. James Clyburn     (SC)

8.    “WHERE’S THE BUFFET?”             -Rep. Jerrold Nadler (NY)

7.   “SENDING SMOKE SIGNAL TO MY CONTACT AT PBS.”       -US Sen. Elizabeth Warren (MA)

6.   “MAYBE I’M JUST TOO DYNAMIC.”    US Sen. Minority Leader Charles Schumer (NY)

5.  “WHY ARE WE SO HAPPY?   ISN’T THAT DANG WAR IN IRAQ STILL GOING ON?”       – US Sen. Maizie Hirono (HA)

4.     “IF OBAMACARE WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE MONEY, TELL ME WHAT THE 43-DAY SHUTDOWN WAS FOR?”      –   Rep. Jasmine Crockett  (TX)

3.  “WE NEED A NEW GENERATION OF LEADERSHIP TO TAKE UP THE TORCH.”         US Sen. Bernie Sanders   (VT)

2.   “THAT’S NO HOLSTER, THAT’S MY LEVI STRAUSS TRUST FUND.”           -Rep. Daniel Goldman (NY)

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD in the SENATE & HOUSE DEMOCRAT CAUCUS ROOMS, FOLLOWING THE VOTE TO FUND THE GOVERNMENT is…

1.   “LET’S CELEBRATE!   I’LL MIX A PITCHER OF MARGARITAS….   YOU BUST SOME CRIMINAL MIGRANTS OUT OF DETENTION.”     -US Sen. Chris Van Hollen  (MD)

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10.    Let’s tax those rich major league teams.    They can’t move, can they?

9.  Disgraced ex-Congressman Jamaal Bowman is being considered for Chancellor of Education   (Wait a minute!    He actually IS under consideration!!)

8.  Henceforth, it will be called the “Department of RE- education”

7.  NYPD recruits to be presented with a “Netanyahu Awareness Class” at their academy

6.   Fire Department personnel forced into re-education on “bad” fires and “good fires”  (those set to advance protests and “justifiable looting”)

5.   Voters know that Zohran wants to legalize prostitution.     But how much should we subsidize it?

4.     The Mayor -elect wants to decriminalize misdemeanors.  After that, how about bank robbery?

3.    Can we change the name of the City Council to the Politburo with a simple majority vote?

2.     Since Wall Street will never move….

      …and the NUMBER ONE UNDER REPORTED TRIAL BALLOON POLICY EARLY IN THE MAMDANI TRANSITION is…

1.  If those millionaires start resisting our tax hikes, we can make an example of one in a human sacrifice.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

​   10.     A tax-chugging “Governor Dracula” Kathy Hochul.

9.  A tuxedoed Senator Chris Van Hollen, dressed as a mixologist “shaking” top-label margaritas for MS-13 gang members, on demand.

8. Zohran Mamdani wearing a grocer’s apron as he presses on for one of the classic failures of Communism – government-owned food markets.

7.   With Dennis Rodman long retired, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un dresses up as LeBron James. (Accessory: a basket rim only 5 feet above the ground                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      6.    Special father/son costume package, featuring Fidel Castro and Justin Trudeau.   For extra Halloween fun, dress Justin in the green fatigues​ and a fake beard.

5. Truly frightening “Delaware Zombie,” replete with government-paid electrodes and hair plugs.

4. Merrick Garland and Jack Smith wear headphones, dressed as spies listening in on phone conversations.  As they eavesdrop on Republican Senators & Congressmen, they’re not really disguises.

​ 3.  US Sen. Elizabeth Warren identifies (in costume) as “John Smith,” just to underscore ​the 17th century “gender fluidity”​ of  Pocahontas.

2. French President Emmanuel Macron as a short-panted school boy with a crush on his teacher.

…and the NUMBER ONE HALLOWEEN COSTUME for 2025 is…

1. Senator Adam Schiff as Pinocchio.   

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .