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TOP TEN PRELIMINARY DRAFT FINDINGS in the MUELLER REPORT

10.  It’s a very pleasant 5 block walk from Trump Tower to the Russian Tea Room.

 9.  Showing off memory prowess, Paul Manafort chortingly recited  John Podesta e-mails about Hillary from Wikileaks.

 8.   Until this month, the most credible secret informer claiming collusion with Russians was Jussie Smollett.

 7. In candidate Trump’s office, Roger Stone rolled up his sleeve to reveal a “Vladimir Putin tattoo.”    Turned out to be a prank henna that washed off in 3 days.   That Roger!

 6. Christopher Steele just seemed so sincere and so honest.

 5. During the Miss Universe Pageant in Moscow, businessman Donald Trump accepted a cold borscht sent over by the mayor.

 4. Trying out future campaign nicknames on his escalator, Trump was undecided between “Little Vladimir” and “Lyin’ Vladdy.”

 3.   On tape, we can hear candidate Trump wondering if he too could get “$250,000 a speech in Moscow, like Bill Clinton.”

 2. Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov was sighted chugging a machiato at the Starbucks in the Trump Tower lobby.

…and the NUMBER ONE PRELIMINARY FINDING in the DRAFT MUELLER REPORT is….

 1.  There IS an embarrassing tape from that Moscow hotel room.   A voracious Trump can be seen clearing out that entire mini bar.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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