10. I had no idea that explosion was Cousin Swallwell deep-frying his first turkey. Is everyone OK?
9. Next year, if Mayor Mamdani gets prostitution legalized, what will our neighbors do on Black Friday?
8. Could you pass the turkey and stuffing, made possible by the most vibrant economy in world history?
7. Who’s that cute friend you brought? Ya’ think she unmasks on the first date?
- I hear that Melania is a great cook. Ever tried “Slovenian Stuffing?”
- ‘Ceptin’ the Jello-mold, we personally hunted for all this food.
- So, what do you think Omar and Tlaib are doing today?
- The Pilgrims sailed for 3 months, and there was no canned cranberry sauce?
- Are those real mashed potatoes, or are they corrupted, like voting in Philly or Chicago?
…and the NUMBER ONE DEFLECTING REMARK, to AVOID DISCUSSING POLITICS at the THANKSGIVING TABLE is:
- All of our bathrooms are gender-neutral, of course.
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