Your Weekly American Top Ten List

​10.   Name that new aircraft from Sikorsky the “Hakeem-o-copter”

 

​  9.   Since the B-2s  have “stealth” technology anyway, paint a few pink racing stripes on them

 

​   8. ​ Remind liberal advocates that apartments on military bases are truly “affordable housing”

 

   7.  Honor two great Democrats in one military renaming, like “Joint Military Base Stonewall Jackson & Chuck Schumer”

 

    6.   Create a new “rank” for enlisted servicemembers:    “Influencer, Second Class”

 

    5.   During any rant exceeding 30 seconds, drill sergeants will be required to slip in the word “feelings”

 

   4.   Henceforth, “PX” store shelves can be stocked with quinoa, tofu, little drink umbrellas and Bud Light.

 

    3.    A no-salary gig as Adjunct Prof. at the Naval War College for Sen. Elizabeth Warren, where she can teach the “Navajo Code Talkers” and other critical Native American history

 

  2.   Just within their caucus, pretend that “S.E.A.L.”  stands for “Sensitive, Equitable, Accepting Liberal”

 

10.  SEIZING THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION (Food Truck​s ​& Lemonade Stands included)

   9.     NATIONS and CITIES WHERE SOCIALISM HAS WORKED   

                      (Sorry, Jeopardy! researchers could NOT identify any such jurisdiction)

8. SUICIDE BOMBERS WE ADMIRE

7. THE FUNNIEST PUNCH LINES of VLADIMIR LENIN

​    6.  THE SOFT SIDE OF THE INTIFADA

5.   WHAT’S YOURS IS MINE.   WE VOTED ON IT.

4.  FELONY ARRESTS ARE SO YESTERDAY

3.  NOTABLE  ​NEW YORKERS WHO WILL STAY and TAKE IT    

2. DE-FUNDING THE POLICE WHILE KEEPING YOUR 24/7 NYPD SECURITY DETAIL

…and the NUMBER ONE “JEOPARDY!” CATEGORY if Z. MAMDANI WAS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER is…

1. WHO SAID IT:  FIDEL, MAO, or TIM WALZ ?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

   (Two of these “grants” were invented by your editor.   Can you guess which ones?    Answers below, toward the end.)

10.  $2.3 million for “gender fluidity” instruction classes at “voluntary” re-education camps in Iceland

       9.  $350 million to build a pier in Gaza

       8. $47,000 for “transgender opera” in Columbia

       7.  $15 million for condoms to the Taliban

       6.  $1 million to boost French-speaking LGBTQ groups in Africa

       5.   $3 million for “just being LGBTQ” in the Caribbean  (No clear explanation of how taxpayer funds were distributed)

       4.  $55,000 for “climate change seminars” in Argentina  (Attendance was limited to female and LGBTQ journalists)

      3.   $2 million for sex change surgeries and “LGBTQ activism” in Guatemala

      2.   $3.2 million in reparations to Samoa for “toxic colonialism”

  …and the NUMBER ONE U.S. AID GRANT RIPE for DE- FUNDING is….

     1.  $14 million in cash vouchers for illegal migrants at our southern border  (What were we incentivizing here?)

Numbers 2 and 10 are fake.   All others are actual grants proposed or funded by U.S. AID.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

   ​10.  Mandatory essay exam for all public high school seniors:  “Explain in 2,000 words or less how “globalizing the Intifada” will lead to world peace”                                            

 9. Halt life-threatening price-gouging by freez​ing ​the price of pizza by the slice
8.Ban on all street parking in Manhattan, except for celebrity and Mamdani staff limos

7.  At your re-education camp, you can earn your copy of Das Kapital by answering the nice interrogator’s questions properly

6.  NYPD will prioritize transgender hiring until a 40% quota is reached
5. Only New Yorkers who flunk Zohran’s “Marxist Pop Quiz” three times will be subject to firing squads                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               4.   City employees will set their own salaries                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3.  Bridges, tunnels and highways will be reserved for Mayoral-endorsed mob demonstrations                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   2.  The three remaining billionaires in NYC will be rewarded with an​ 80% city income tax

… and the NUMBER ONE UNDERREPORTED “MAMDANI for MAYOR” PROMISE is…

1.      If “no one is illegal,” squatting is to be encouraged.  (Gracie Mansion excluded, of course)

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .