10. Anti-Israel Triathlon (even U.S. Senators may compete, calling for “regime change” in the Jewish state, while rapidly repositioning themselves for cameras and microphones).
- Synchronized Political Prosecutions (competitions to be hosted in New York City, Atlanta and Washington, D.C.)
- Speed Skating Across the Russian Border (an all-weather, winter & summer Olympic event).
- Combined Women’s / Transgender Powerlifting
- Trampoline Acrobatics (all participants will receive Ivy League university credits and student loan “forgiveness”).
- High Wire Competitive Ballet (executives seeking re-election try to persuade innocent voters that they celebrated both Passover and Ramadan this spring).
- No-Bail, No-Prosecution Looting (Judges may award bonus points for verifiable acts of arson).
- Open-Water Swim (Competition held in the Rio Grande River. Medalists awarded three-year billeting at NY’s Roosevelt Hotel. All swimmers receive guaranteed income, immediate voting rights & American-made, “sustainable” motor vehicles.).
- “Defying Police While Occupying to Support Hamas Genocide” (Similar to bullriding, pro-murder “protesters” seek to physically defy arrest by police for as long a duration as possible).
…and the NUMBER ONE NEW OLYMPIC SPORTING EVENT BEING REQUESTED by the BIDEN ADMINISTRATION is….
- Power Grifting (competitions to be hosted by Red China, Russia, Ukraine and Qatar. Medal ceremony in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware).
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