- White House staff progressives replace Hanukkah menorah of lights with: “the NATIONAL COLD WEATHER CANDELABRA”
- George Santos is offered a consolation job as “Prancer” in the Radio City Christmas show.
- At the President’s “surprise” 81st birthday party, Ilhan Omar sings her version of “Santa Baby.”
- Prince Harry and Meghan issue their annual Thanksgiving news release: “We join all concerned citizens of the planet in celebrating this “sustainable” Thanksgiving.”
(News release is FAXed from their private jet, while circling LAX for more great photo shots.)
- Supreme Leader Kim jong-Un asks: “With enough kimchee, can we divide this turkey among 26 million people?”
5. Pro-Hamas disrupters of Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade accidentally impede the “cackling Kamala Harris” balloon.
- Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib claims the holiday is “racist and colonialist,” but discreetly asks for some “Jello mold leftovers.”
3. Andrew and Chris Cuomo call home to ask: “Mom, you want takeout again this year?”
- New York Daily Times headline: “GRATITUDE? FOR WHAT?”
…and the NUMBER ONE “WOKE” HAPPENING THIS THANKSGIVING is…
- As cameras are turned off, Joseph Biden kills the turkey, then pardons Hunter.
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