Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.    Governor J. B. Pritzker:   Personally steal brown bag lunches brought to work by ICE agents around Chicagoland;  then, eat them.

9. Incoming NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani:  Request a crash course in economics from Larry Kudlow and Kevin Hassett

8. Governor Gavin Newsom:   Strengthen the border walls & highway barriers along all of your state’s borders…     to prevent frantic, fleeing Californians from escaping to freedom.

7.  U. S. Senator Adam Schiff:   Create a new hoax that mainstream media will run with.

6.  President Donald Trump:   Take it easy for a few days….   Plan a golfing vacation on Taiwan.

5.  Vladimir Putin:    In 2026, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

4.  Former President Barack Obama:   Go easy on Trump….   then wait to score free golf for life at Mar-a-Lago.

3.  Governor Kathy Hochul:   Invent still more schemes to get overtaxed drivers to pay for mass transit boondoggles

2.  The Clintons & Bidens:     Not only come up with ways to appear “relevant,” but more importantly, figure out how to create new grifting ideas while out of office.

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION for 2026 is:

1.  The producers and anchors of CNN & MSNBC “news”:     Grow your audiences so that they exceed the number of panelists on your Sunday morning shows.

 “Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2026 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. “Mistletoe”    – Bill Clinton sings to the Rockettes

9. “Run Run Rudolph”  – Frightened by Mamdani Transition Team nut jobs, more New Yorkers want 81-year old​ Mayor Giuliani back

8. “Rockin’ Around the Winter Solstice Snowperson”    –    sung by a chorus of university presidents and fellow traveling agnostics

7.  “I’m Dreaming of a White Supremacist”    –     the White House press corps croons for its fondest hope

6. ​“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Pyong Yang”     –    “Socialist” candidates inspired by Zohran & AOC are popping up in many states

5.  “Meli Kalikimaka”      –      US Senator Mazie Hirono (D-Hawaii) warbles from atop 11,000 foot Haleakala peak on Maui, just in case climate change submerges most of her state into the Pacific

4.   “All I Want for Christmas is some Patriot Missiles”   – Volodomyr Zelensky

3.  “Jingle Bells”    –   Joy Reid claims the song is racist, so what does that make WHITE Christmas??

2.  “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”   –    US Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer gets ready to shut down the Federal government again

…and the NUMBER ONE HOLIDAY SONG WE’D LOVE to HEAR is….

1. “O Come All Somalians”     –     Minnesota Governor Timothy Walz blames others for the billions stolen from under his nose

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .

10. “Trick or Treat!”    – Joseph Biden

9.   “Honey, where are those files you borrowed?   Love from your devoted admirer, Eric Swallwell.”  (Written to Fang-Fang, career agent of Communist China)

8.  “Feliz Navidad.   You’d give me fair warning first, wouldn’t you?”    – Venezuelan Comandante Nicolas Maduro, writing to President Trump

7.  “Dear students and all university staff:    Let us celebrate our cherished, secular winter solstice holidays in one of the many ‘Safe Spaces’ on our beloved campus.”

              –  Identical message used by 173 university presidents

6. “Thanks for nuthin,’ my ingrate subjects.”              -Kamala

5.      “In 2026. it’s no more Mr. Nice Guy.”     – Vladimir Putin, in his crudest PR offensive

4.     “Please accept this final check as a personal thank you from me….    before the Feds complete their racist investigations.”

                  – Minnesota Governor Timothy Walz

3.     “Just so you know in advance, I’m planning to celebrate Passover in New York City.    Go ahead, make my day.”

                                   – Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyaho, wishing a happy 2026 to Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani

2.     “If you can just believe in Frosty the Snowman, you can believe in me and my show.”

                          –  Rachel Maddow, MSNBC

….and the NUMBER ONE HOLIDAY CARD INSCRIPTION in 2025 is….

1. “We wish you a holiday filled with inclusion, prior to climate change submerging our beloved Martha’s Vineyard.        

             – Barack and Michelle

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  herbstupp@gmail.com  .