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TOP TEN HEADLINES WE WON’T BE SEEING THIS WEEK…

10.  HILLARY CLINTON E-MAILS REVEAL AS MANY AS 40 LIKELY FELONIES COMMITTED BY FORMER SECRETARY

 9.  PLOT TO KIDNAP MICHIGAN GOVERNOR LED BY ANTI-TRUMP ZEALOTS

 8.  CHINA’S XI OPENLY EXPRESSES SUPPORT FOR DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES, WONT COMMENT ON INVOLVEMENT IN U.S. ELECTIONS

 7.  JUDGE BARRETT NOW EXPECTED TO LOSE SOME SENATE DEMOCRAT VOTES FOR BEING “TOO BORING”

 6. SPEAKER PELOSI UNABLE TO RECITE HOUSE RULES FOR REMOVING A SPEAKER WHO IS “UNABLE TO EXECUTE” HER DUTIES

 5.  BIDEN WILL ANNOUNCE HIS POSITION ON NUDE ADS FEATURING HOLLYWOOD SUPPORTERS “AFTER THE ELECTION”

 4.  SENATOR HARRIS OVERHEARD BY REPORTER, RE-ASSURING MR. BIDEN “IT IS O.K. TO STAY IN THE BASEMENT” TODAY

 3.   SECRET PHOTOGRAPH FROM NORTH KOREA REVEALS “HILLARY’S REVENGE” LOGO ON NEW ICBM MISSILE 

 2.  RARE AGREEMENT BETWEEN CUOMO AND DeBLASIO: RELEASING VIOLENT CRIMINALS HAS NO IMPACT ON CRIME

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE SEEING THIS WEEK is:

1.   PRESIDENT REJECTS “VIRTUAL” DEBATE, BUT REMAINS SILENT ON POTENTIAL CAGE MATCH

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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