- To avoid handling checks personally, have Hunter or one of your officially-recognized grandchildren in the receiving line..
- Serve the finest wines Delaware has to offer.
- To avoid embarrassing a foreign dictator, offer Venmo as a more genteel way of transmitting those eye-popping “gratuities.”
- Scream about “THE THREAT TO DEMOCRACY!,” …then mingle.
- Many guests, naturally, will appreciate the ability to sniff the hair of younger females.
- After the entrée is served, nothing says “Event concludes 9PM sharp” more than changing into pajamas for dessert.
- If the crowd is lingering after hours, play the “Kamala cackling” audio tape, & watch ’em clear out.”
- Make sure you have an ample supply of “ol’ 45s” ready for the Victrola.
- Remind emcee Pete Buttigieg to park his bicycle in a visible spot, in the event a camera emerges.
…and the NUMBER ONE JOSEPH BIDEN PARTY TIP is:
- Only Bidens get in free.
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