- Rumors swept through campus that rifle-toting hunters were sighted elsewhere in Vermont, creating entirely predictable turmoil among sensitive (snowflake) students.
- If Charles Murray is allowed to speak on a campus, what’s next? An Israeli? A capitalist?
- A paucity of “Safe Spaces” on campus compelled emotionally fragile protesters to find solace in the auditorium.
Then, presto: Dr. Murray showed up!
- Students were hoping for extra credit in Phys-Ed classes by beating down an innocent Middlebury professor.
6. “We college administrators have no moral right to govern.” **
- Was that Charles Murray, Andy Murray or Arthur Murray we were chasing?
- Availability of rice pudding on Middlebury meal plan led to uncontrollable “sugar highs” for
already excitable students.
- In a truly “living” Constitution, the First Amendment must evolve to accommodate the rights of rioters.
- This whole thing would never have happened if he was married to Senator Patty Murray.
…and the NUMBER ONE PRELIMINARY FINDING BY MIDDLEBURY COLLEGE ADMINISTRATORS is…
1.The punishment for all those charged with violence and shouting down Dr. Murray will be “time served” (that is, attending classes at Middlebury!!).
** (Actually stated by another Vermont college president, Edward J. Bloustein of Bennington College, in the 1970s. Bloustein went on to become president of the Rutgers system in NJ).
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