10. (Bill DeBlasio:) While running for NY governor in ‘22, urgently develop a “Plan B.” Just sayin’.
9. (Andrew Cuomo:) When in public, wear catcher’s mitts at all times.
8. (Kamala Harris:) Move your official residence to DelRio, Texas; then relax until notified of removal from 2024 ticket.
7. (Hillary Clinton:) Get Joseph Biden to pardon you, while the getting is good.
6. (Donald Trump:) Keep everyone on their toes with a golfing vacation on Taiwan.
5. (Chris Cuomo:) Act as if nothing is amiss during your first gig on Russian TV.
4. (Barack Obama:) Figure out how to claim “climate change is an existential threat” while luxuriating at your $15 million oceanfront mansion on Martha’s Vineyard.
3. (Anthony Fauci:) Maintain the same, consistent advice for an impossible 7 days in a row.
2. (Adam Schiff:) Come up with a new and better hoax than “Russia collusion.”
…and the NUMBER ONE RESOLUTIONS for 2022 is…
1. (Joseph Biden:) Remember, even when speaking with Vladimir, Xi, Kim or AOC… there’s no need to appear afraid.
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