Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  (Bill DeBlasio:)  While running for NY governor in ‘22, urgently develop a “Plan B.”    Just sayin’.

  9.  (Andrew Cuomo:)   When in public, wear catcher’s mitts at all times.

  8.   (Kamala Harris:)    Move your official residence to DelRio, Texas; ​then relax ​until​ ​notified of removal from 2024 ticket.

  7.   (Hillary Clinton:)     Get Joseph Biden to pardon you, while the getting is good.

  6.   (Donald Trump:)    Keep everyone on their toes with a golfing vacation on Taiwan.

  5.    (Chris Cuomo:)     Act as if nothing ​is amiss​ during your first ​gig​ on Russian TV.

  4.   (Barack Obama:)    Figure out how to claim “climate change is an existential threat” while luxuriating at your $15 million oceanfront mansion on Martha’s Vineyard.

  3.   (Anthony Fauci:)     Maintain the same, consistent advice for an impossible 7 days in a row.

  2.   (Adam Schiff:)          Come up with a new and better hoax than “Russia​ c​ollusion.”

…and the NUMBER ONE RESOLUTIONS for 2022 is…

  1.    (Joseph Biden:)      Remember, even when speaking with Vladimir, Xi, Kim or AOC… there’s no need ​to appear​ afraid.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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– On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         –A tax hike for you and for me

– On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

         – Two Cuomos whining.

-On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – Three Hunter “art” sales.

 – On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       –  Four Bidens grifting.

– On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – Fi-i-i-ve  Glenn Young – kinsss.

– On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Six CNN viewers.

– On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        –  Seven Veeps a – cackling.

– On the eighth day of Christmas, BILL CLINTON gave to me:

         – Eight maids-a-milking.   (We had to take one set of gifts from the original song!)

– On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –    Nine fake Times headlines.

–  On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          –  Ten percent inflation.

–  On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

           –  Eleven phony ballots .

–  On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

            – Twelve worldwide crises.

Yuletide blessings for the Christmas and Hannukah seasons to all “Top Ten” readers and your families, and good tidings to all for 2022.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. For Liz Cheney:  A nice new Congressional district in Manhattan or San Francisco.

 9. For Jussie Smollett:   A robust prison term …  in an all-female facility.

 8. For Kim Jong-un:     A new U. S. Ambassador, Dennis Rodman.

 7.  For Kamala Harris:  charm school lessons from Hillary.

 6.  For White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki:   some believable material…

 5. For Hunter Biden:  To extend his “art career,” a fresh set of crayons.

 4.  For Chris Cuomo:   an offer from Al Jazeera or Russian TV…  really, from anywhere.

 3.  For Vladimir Putin:  a new horse for his trips to the border with Ukraine.

 2.  For NYC Mayor DeBlasio (a candidate for governor):    Mass amnesia across his state.

…and the NUMBER ONE CELEBRITY CHRISTMAS GIFT for 2021 is…

 1.  For Joseph Biden:  a full pardon from President Harris.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. “Dear flag-waving bible-thumper:  Your Twitter account is still blocked.”     Happy holidays,   Jack Dorsey

  9.  “T’is the season to reach out and touch someone.”    – Andrew Cuomo

  8. “This Arbor Day, let us build back better.”                -Joseph Biden

  7.  ” I wish you an early Meli Kalikimaka, before climate change floods my state.”     -US Sen. Maisie Hirono (D- Hawaii)

  6.  “With the optimism of the festival of lights, we can hope for the Yeshiva Maccabees to remain undefeated.”   

 -Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett, writing from the Trump Heights

  5.   “The university proudly announces new ‘Safe Spaces’ for students celebrating the Winter Solstice.”  – University Vice President for Safety, Equity, Diversity, Sustainability and Mumbo-Jumbo.”

  4.    “If you can just believe in Frosty the Snowman… you can believe me, too.”                  

        – Jussie Smollett

  3.     ” I was only playing Mrs. Santa Claus.”         – Ghislaine Maxwell

  2.    “You better watch out, Joe Biden’s in power.  Time for all of us taxpayers to cower.”            – Your accountant

…. and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS CARD INSCRIPTION for 2021 is…

1.   “Feliz Navidad from the Rio Grande River.”               – Kamala Harris

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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​10. ​Kim Jong-un: “With enough kimchi, we can divvy up this turkey among 26 million loyal North Korean​ subject​s.”

​  9.  ​Andrew Cuomo: “Mom, you want take out this year?”

​  8. ​Insurance salesman near Del Rio, Texas:   “Honey, my cousins are here…  please don’t refer to them as ‘the Caravan’ again.”

​   7.  ​Prince Harry and Meghan:    “We applaud all concerned citizens of the world, who join us this year in celebrating a ‘sustainable’ Thankgiving.”     (MESSAGE FAXED FROM THEIR PRIVATE JET, CIRCLING LAX WHILE THE COUPLE FINISHES THEIR MEAL.)

   6.  ​Chris Cuomo:    “Andrew, brutha, you doing take out this year?”

​   5. Vladimir Putin:  “Nuthin’ better with a Moscow Mule than Chicken Kiev.”

   4.  MSNBC​ anchor:   “​W​e have a report that Vice President Kamala Harris hunted for her Thanksgiving turkey this morning.”

​   3.​  ​Grandmother in Littleton, Colorado:    “Check out the living room, dear.   I think the boys all fell asleep watching the football game.“

Her daughter:               “No, Mom​, that’s a Joseph Biden speech on the screen.”

    2.   Rep. Ilhan Omar:    “Thanksgiving may be racist, but I just don’t go for Jello-mold.”

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD on THANKSGIVING LAST MONTH is…

   1.   Joseph Biden:       “Omicron?   Is that French guy acting up again?”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.   These days, a Congressman won’t even meet with you for a mere $150,000.

  9.   Just in the last year, the number of genders has increased by 3,087%.

  8.      Commercial airline pilot threatens “not landing as planned” over the intercom, unless additional payments are made (following pretzel distribution).

  7.     Your hotel mini-bar offers “expired chocolate bars” at much-appreciated $20 discount.

  6.   Joseph Biden has actually convinced one voter in Elizabeth, New Jersey that his $5 trillion welfare boondoggle is “actually paid for.”

  5.    Price break:   at the supermarket, you are enticed by sale:  “Special This Week:  Five Pounds of Potatoes, Only One Wheelbarrow of US currency.”

 4.   In Beverly Hills, pedestrians espy a disheveled Lady Gaga holding sign:  “Will Sing my Lungs Out for Less-Than-Fresh Caviar.”

 3.    Perusing your local church thrift shop, you ponder “Discount for Payments in Gold Bullion.”

 2.    Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen appears in wig and sunglasses for her own news conference.

…and the NUMBER ONE SIGN THAT INFLATION MAY BE HEADING OUT of CONTROL is:

1.   At the gas station, you simply hand over your vehicle as payment.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. ​ “Don’t worry, Joe… th​is​ Red Bull is on me….”     – PM Justin Trudeau

 9.  “Our friend​ President​ Xi would have been here, but he is cutting ribbons on seven new coal power plants today.”

 8.   “San Marino makes a motion, with Liechtenstein seconding: “Resolved, that the USA must end all fossil fuel usage this year.”

 7. “​Joe​, if I knew you’d have a motorcade of 87 cars, I would’ve left mine at home in London.”    – PM Boris Johnson

 6.   “Sir, if Congress came into session only once a year, could that solve our methane problem?”

 5.    “Vladimir could be a little late.   He’s in a submarine​,​ watching the final bolts go into the Gazprom Baltic Pipeline.”

 4.    “You mean you’re not scared of Kim jong-Un or ISIS…    only Greta Thunberg?”

 3.    “Nah, I’ll just bum a ride home on John Kerry’s private jet.”

 2.    “How come that Macron feller still seems mad at me?”

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD at the GLASGOW “CLIMATE CHANGE” CONFERENCE is:

 1.    “Zzzzz.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.   A leering Bernie Sanders , magnifying glass in one hand, your bank account in the other

 9.  Nancy Pelosi “Confused Alien” mask

 8.  Migrant fugitive waving $450,000 US Treasury check

7.  “Cackling Kamala” with broomstick

 6.    Elizabeth Warren “Angry Clown” mask and jumpsuit

5.    Andrew Cuomo mask, with matching oversized hands

4.   Chuckling, salivating Xi Jinping, holding glossy 8 x 10 of Biden & Harris

3.   Star Trek “Evil Queen” pants suit, with choice of AOC or Hillary mask

 2.   Tax-chugging Gavin “Dracula” Newsom cape and mask

…and the NUMBER ONE FRIGHTENING HALLOWEEN COSTUME is…

 1.   Frightening Delaware Zombie, replete with electrodes and hair plugs

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. “GENIUS” SWEATSHIRT, showcasing portrait of Joseph Biden with Einstein hair.

 9.  DUPLICATE OF COMANDANTE MADURO’S FORMAL-WEAR MILITARY JACKET, always an ice-breaker on the first date.

 8.  FULL-BODY JUMP SUITS, embroidered with DAY-GLO “CLIMATE EMERGENCY” message on back.    Required by dress code on Harry and Megan’s private jets (John Kerry purchased the first one).

 7.  “THE BORDER IS NOW CLOSED” LEG-WARMERS, to distract fellow gym-rats from noticing your gut.

 6. GAS MASK & HELMET COMBO, for those peaceful protests that might, maybe, possibly lead to arson & looting.   Hammer & sickle decal optional.              Available only in Midnight Black, to complement your formalwear.

 5.  100% DIAMOND and EMERALD NECKLACE, spelling out “TAX WEALTH NOW.”      The perfect accessory for NYC’s annual “Met Gala.”

 4.  “I VOTED FOR SOCIALISM, and ALL I GOT is THIS LOUSY BASEBALL CAP.”

3.   “EVEN THIS SMOKING JACKET COUNTS AS ‘INFRASTRUCTURE.'”

2.   “NOT A TOXIC ‘CIS’ MALE” 3-cornered tin-foil hat.

…and the NUMBER ONE “MUST HAVE” FASHION ITEM, to COMPLEMENT AOC’S “TAX the RICH” DRESS is:

 1.   “TALKING” AUDIO HANDBAG with KAMALA  “CACKLING” WHENEVER “SOUTHERN BORDER” is brought up.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  HUNTER BIDEN ART EXHIBIT PROVIDES LATEST VENUE TO PEDDLE INFLUENCE WITH WHITE HOUSE    – Newark Times

 9.  “I KNOW HE’S CRAZY, BUT I AM STUCK WITH HIM,” PRESIDENT SAYS ABOUT BERNIE, ACCORDING TO INSIDERS   – Chattanooga Globe

 8.  AOC, SENATORS WARREN AND KLOBUCHAR RIVAL HILLARY IN ABUSING STAFF, SAY ANONYMOUS SOURCES  -Bronx Post-Intelligencer

 7.  DURING COGNITIVE TEST, PRESIDENT CANNOT DIFFERENTIATE AMONG BILLION, TRILLION AND GAZILLION     – Houston Sun-Times

 6.  DELAYED TRANSLATION OF WHITE HOUSE PHONE CALL REVEALS CHINESE PRESIDENT XI ASKING: “SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?”        – Los Angeles Herald Mirror

 5.   VICE PRESIDENT HAD NO IDEA RIO GRANDE WAS A RIVER UNTIL VIEWING IT FROM 35, 000 FEET      – San Antonio Delta Republican

 4.  BRITISH PM CLAIMS THAT PRESIDENT “ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP ON ME” DURING TRANSATLANTIC PHONE CALL   – BBC London

 3. HARRY AND MEGAN CONDEMN SHATNER’S LOW CARBON SPACE FLIGHT VIA FAX MACHINE FROM THEIR PRIVATE JET      – Entertainment Fortnightly

2. PRESIDENTIAL BROTHER JIM SEEN SCHOOLING SCHUMER ON MONETIZING HIS GOVERNMENT SERVICE    – Chicago Plain Dealer

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE SEEING THIS WEEK is:

 1.   SURVEY OF AMERICANS SELECTS “THE BORDER IS CLOSED” AS NUMBER ONE LIE OF 2021           – New York Inquirer and Pennysaver

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .