Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. “TRANSPHOBE”  – Pretty much anyone walking down the street.

9. “WHITE SUPREMACIST”   – Suburban parent ​of any race​ asking a question about curricula.

8. “IDENTIFY”   – Completing the partial, uninspired job your parents did.

7. “INSURRECTIONIST”   – Certain persons disrupting governmental proceedings, even if unarmed.   Not applicable in Nashville, TN or Madison, WI.

6.   “INVESTMENT”      – Taxing more to expand welfare and “green” spending.    Never applicable to pay for military or law enforcement.

5. “TERRORIST”   -Parent inquiring about assault upon teen daughter.

4.  “WOMAN”      -Who’s to say?

3.  “INFLATION”    -What inflation?   There is zero inflation.

2.   “IMMIGRANT”    – That guy emerging from the river with waterproof bags of fentanyl.

…and the NUMBER ONE VITAL 2023 GLOSSARY TERM (approved by the U.S.        

Department of Justice) is…

   1.    “FATHER”       -Symbol of patriarchy and oppression, though a fine source of cash.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.   Joseph actually considers Delaware to be a backwater, as bad as Scranton.

9. During family meetings, curtains are drawn and Biden men go shirtless and smoke cigarettes provided by lobbyists.

8.   In a pinch, you can get the Chinese to pay you with Venmo.

7. Fentanyl costs less per ounce in Kent County, Delaware than in Chester County, Pennsylvania, and the cartel guys are friendlier.

6.   There is no personal rush like speeding in reverse with an illegal pistol in your waistband.

5.   On Air Force One, there is a small bathroom where crack cocaine can always be found.

4.   “Cornpop” is actually an older cleaning lady for the Rehoboth mansion.

3.  “Climate justice” is fine for Kerry, Gore and DiCaprio, but….​

2.  For a romantic weekend, it’s tough to beat the Trump International Hotel.

…and the NUMBER ONE LATEST REVELATION from the LAPTOP is…

1.  Three paintings sold by Hunter for a total of $390,000 were actually painted by a Labrador retriever.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  Czarina for the northern border

9. Chair of ​ the​ new​ Federal​ “Disinformation​ Junta,​“​ with power​ to order IRS audits and cancel restaurant reservations

8.  Primary researcher of the “root causes” for police resignations across the nation

7.    Warden and Minister of Re-education ​for​ the prisons holding January 6th ​detain​ees still awaiting trial

6.   Oversee US Naval strategy to protect and pacify the Taiwan Strait 

    ​5.  Care Manager for any cognitively-challenged residents of the White House      

4.  Surrogate speaker and translator for Transportation Secretary Buttigieg

3.  ​Attending any and all head-of-state funerals to come in Micronesia

2.  Chair of new “bail fund” to spring non-white supremacists arrested for looting, arson, shoplifting, riot, assault, home invasion, auto theft and other “infractions”

​                                      (Not applicable in “no bail” New York state.)

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW ASSIGNMENT (based on dazzling achievements) BEING CONSIDERED for our VICE PRESIDENT is…

1. Exclusive Washington-area distributor of 500,000 just-discovered 1970s-era “Whip Inflation Now” lapel buttons 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. As a thank you for the $1.5 billion investment from Red China, Hunter delivered 10 complimentary toasters to Ambassador Zhang Jun for opening ​those ​new accounts.

9. Joseph Biden has asked architects in Delaware to draw up plans for a large pagoda.   Construction costs will be paid in cash.

8. Overlooking the beautiful Yangtze River in Shanghai, there is a 9,000 square foot penthouse condo​, purchased​ in Dr. Jill’s maiden name.

7. Based on explicit photos in the laptop, Hunter might actually benefit from some of those arcane medications seen on TV.

6.  That $3.5 million “consultancy fee” from former Moscow First Lady Yelena Baturina was spent mostly​on ​private tasting​s of Russian vodkas.

5.  To keep tabs on each other, Biden family members read Miranda Devine in the NY Post​,​to see who is out-grifting whom.

​      4.  At the Rehoboth Beach mansion, Joseph and Dr. Jill order Chinese takeout from a local restaurant, only to have it delivered by Defense Minister General Wei Fenghe.

3.  In a lesser-spoken Ukrainian dialect, “Burisma” means “grease the American’s palm.”

2.  Classified reports on hypersonic missile technology are available near the hot fudge machine in the Wilmington Dairy Queen.

…and the NUMBER ONE REVELATION DURING EARLY INVESTIGATIONS by CONGRESSMAN JAMES COMER’S HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE is…

 1. Second cousin “Bridie” Biden has been hired for the summer as a $200,000 receptionist in the Chinese Mission to the United Nations.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  Wearing a fake Groucho nose and glasses, FBI Director Wray sighted handing Gatorade and a bullhorn to Ray Epps.

9.  CNN’s Wolf Blitzer briefly anchored the Capitol protest coverage wearing Viking horns.

8.   When the Secret Service wouldn’t drive him, President Trump got to the Rayburn Building in 97 seconds on a high-speed segue.

7.   Suddenly having a free afternoon, Nancy Pelosi got her hair done.   Still no mask.

      6. When lawmakers arrived at  their secret temporary location, many did not realize it was the Biden basement in Wilmington.

5.    Graffitto seen in the House Cannon building elevator:  “For a good time, call ​Antifa-Dating ​at 202-555-0000.” 

4.    Congresswoman Lauren Boebert fired four shots into the air, but no one seemed to notice at the time.

3.   We think that was Bill Clinton near the Senate Hart Building, running after an individual in leg warmers.

2.  The images were blurry, but it appeared that six people were carrying illegal Redskins flags while wearing black judicial robes.

…and the NUMBER ONE SURPRISE in the NEW JANUARY 6^th VIDEOS SEEN on TV THIS WEEK is…

1. Once evacuated from the Capitol, Jerry Nadler rushed back in, knowing he had the House cafeteria buffet all to himself.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “‘Canceling’ all customer debts currently held by tavern owners.”

9.  “Re-naming Sequoia National Park in California as ‘First Gentleman Doug Emhoff Toxic Masculinity National Forest​.​‘”

8. “Ordering the use of Federal Eminent Domain to Evict that dang Wilmington, Delaware Computer Repair Shop, so that an Ice Cream parlor can replace it.”

7.   Ordering the Lifting of Restrictions on Gas & Oil Drilling and Fracking….     but only on Trump properties.”   

6. “Creating new taxpayer-funded free tuition scheme, exclusively for Gender Studies majors.”

5.   Ordering that during “press availabilities” in the state of Delaware, questions will be limited to ice cream flavors and toppings.

4.  The Keystone Pipeline is herewith donated to the U. S. Olympic Luge Team.

3.    ​Camp Beauregard in Louisiana is forthwith named for non-Confederate Hunter Biden.

2.   All successful applications for Federal grant funding must utilize the term “equity” at least twenty times.

 …and the NUMBER ONE EXECUTIVE ORDER to be ANNOUNCED this WEEK by JOSEPH BIDEN is…

1.  “Re-naming the Rio Grande River in Texas as ‘Kamala Krossings.‘”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  Who’s to say when I am on “personal time?”

9.  If highways are racist, what about tank cars with chemicals on fire….?

8.   Let me out of the limo, so I can bicycle the last two blocks to the news conference.

7.   Those Bidens doesn’t deserve me….

6.   What’s more important than pilots and air traffic controllers?   That is why I am announcing our “Flight Equity” plan today.

5.     These rubes in East Palestine haven’t even heard of transgenderism.

4.   I went to Harvard.  That makes me competent automatically.

3.    It may be time for more “family leave” again…

2.   I need to take the private jet to Hawaii, so I can give speeches about mass transit.

…and the NUMBER ONE INNERMOST THOUGHT of “POTHOLE PETE” BUTTIGIEG is….

1.  These goggles, vest and hardhat are exactly what General MacArthur would have worn…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “BONANZA” –   Human traffickers from four continents, fentanyl mules and some “just” seeking US benefits wade across a shallow river, greeted with free food, cell phones and free bus rides to the cities and luxury hotels of their choice.

9. “MISSILE COMMAND” –     An eccentric, compromised chief executive allows a Red Chinese craft to photograph hundreds of sensitive sites from sea-to-shining-sea, only to follow up by shooting down a $12 hobby balloon with missiles costing $800,000.

8. “THE FETTERMAN FAMILY” – An innocent college co-ed is in for the fright of her life when she wanders down the wrong Philadelphia alley, only to be confronted by Senator John Fetterman and family members resembling Morticia, Uncle Fester, Lurch, Wednesday and Pugsley.

7. “TO SLEEP WITH ANGER”  (A Movie-of-the-Week)  –    After delivering a “State of the Union” address laced with distortions and scurrilous, vile attacks on those who differ with him, an elected official dozes through his own Cabinet meeting.

6. “THE HONEYMOONERS”   –   Dr. Jill and “First Gentleman” Doug requisition Air Force Two for a secret getaway to a romantic location no one would ever imagine:   the southern border.

5. “ALL IN THE FAMILY” –  Although replete with undergraduate and advanced degrees, a powerful family relies on a hooker-cavorting  crackhead to close multi-million dollar influence peddling deals with hostile foreign leaders.

4. “THE FBI” –  Advances in technology enable TV producers to create speaking holograms of  Efrem Zimbalist Jr. and Jimmy Stewart, both urging Twitter and Facebook to censor all criticism of a sitting president.

3. “SKY KING”  –  Biden Cabinet members John Kerry and Pete Buttigieg compete to see who can log the most air miles on their private, taxpayer-funded  jets.

2. “NIGHT COURT: REHOBOTH BEACH”-      It began with public lewdness on Amtrak…

…and the NUMBER ON NEW TV SHOW BEING CONSIDERED for the FALL SEASON is…

     1.”YOU BET YOUR LIFE”  –   Ordinary Americans are released near ATMs in urban areas with District Attorneys funded by George Soros.   If they can withdraw $200 and walk 10 city blocks without incident, they win free home security systems.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .