Your Weekly American Top Ten List

​10. A CREEPY GUY for EVERY LADIES ROOM !!

  9.  N​OBODY WILL EVER HAVE to PAY for​ ALL THIS FREE STUFF I am PROMISING.

​                -Kamala 

 8.   “I’​LL do for the COUNTRY WHAT MY WIFE did for BURLINGTON COLLEGE!”

           (–Bernie Sanders’ wife drove the college in to bankruptcy.)

​ 7. MAKE AMERICA LIKE NEWARK!

              -former Newark Mayor Cory Booker

 6. MAYBE VENEZUELA ISN’T MY IDEAL MODEL….

              -Elizabeth Warren

 5.  AS SOUTH BEND GOES, SO GOES the NATION!

              – Mayor Pete Buttigieg​

 4.  REPARATIONS NATION, BABY!

               – Kirsten Gillibrand

 3.  FULL EMPLOYMENT is OVER-RATED

               – Joe Biden

  2.  WHO YOU GONNA BELIEVE, 170,000 FLEEING NEW YORKERS….. or YOUR LYING EYES?”

               – Mayor Bill DeBlasio

… and the NUMBER ONE SLOGAN to COUNTER “KEEP AMERICA GREAT” is:

1.  BUT ALTOGETHER, WE HAVE A COMBINED NAME RECOGNITION OF 11%…         -candidates Bennet, Bullock, Castro, Delaney, Gabbard, Gravel, Hickenlooper, Inslee, Klobuchar, Moulton, Messam, O’Rourke, Sestak and Swallwell

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “LA LA LAND”  ( Kamala Harris and the bizarre California culture that spawned her.)

 9.  “ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK II”  (Bill De Blasio and Andrew Cuomo co-star in an all-too-real drive to depopulate a great city)

 8.   “LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE” starring Congresswoman Ilhan Omar

 7.  “JURASSIC BIDEN:  The Resurrection”

 6. “12 YEARS a MODERATE”  (Presidential hopeful Kirsten Gillibrand explains her time representing a mostly rural Congressional district)

 5.  “CROUCHING SOCIALIST, HIDDEN STRONGMAN” (Bernie Sanders really believes that bigger government is the answer – to everything!)

 4.  “THE CHARGE of the REALLY, REALLY LIGHT BRIGADE”  (All 24 Democrat candidates for President are willing to fall for any scheme that inflates government and raises taxes.)

 3.   BARACK’S LABYRINTH  (The untold story of  real Americans struggling to navigate a hopelessly complex and unaffordable Obamacare).

 2.  ETERNAL SUNSHINE of the CLUELESS MIND  (House Speaker Nancy Pelosi explains voting for bills prior to reading them…)

…and the NUMBER ONE SUMMER MOVIE RELEASE WE’D LIKE to SEE in JULY is…

1.THE NUTTY PROFESSOR   (The definitive Elizabeth Warren biopic…)

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. THREE HUNDRED NORMANDY CIVILIANS KILLED IN SURPRISE U.S. ​RAIDS

9. LOOKING AHEAD TO ELECTION, PRESIDENT SEEKS TO BURNISH HIS “AMERICA FIRST” IMAGE​

8. WHY NORMANDY AND NOT BRITTANY? STRATEGISTS DEBATE.

7. SOME FEAR  THAT ATTACK COULD PROVOKE HITLER TO INTERFERE IN U.S. ELECTIONS

6. AFTERMATH OF LANDINGS AT UTAH AND OMAHA BEACHES REVEALS UNPRECEDENTED ENVIRONMENTAL DEGRADATION

5. CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE QUESTIONS PRESIDENT’S LACK OF TRANSPARENCY IN PLANNING​ ​INCURSION ACROSS ENGLISH CHANNEL

4. SOME BELIEVE THAT SECRET MEETINGS WITH RUSSIAN MILITARY WARRANT A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR

3. WASHINGTON POST OBTAINS DOCUMENTS THAT REVEAL EXACT LOCATIONS OF ALLIED SHIPS, AIRCRAFT AND TROOPS

2. IN PLANNING LAVATORIES FOR 156,000 TROOPS, TRANSGENDER ​ISSUE​S FALL ​BY​ THE WAYSIDE

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE if TODAY’S MAINSTREAM MEDIA WAS COVERING the D-DAY LANDINGS is:

1.MUSSOLINI CRITICIZES D-DAY FOR PALPABLE IMPACT ON CLIMATE CHANGE

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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(YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST WILL BE “ON HIATUS” for a FEW WEEKS AFTER THIS POST. SEE YOU SOON…)

10. “That rum-soaked Russkie!”

9.  “Yes, there is a secret American hotel video of Vladimir Putin.   And it’s from Branson, Missouri.”

8.  “True, there was no collusion between the President’s campaign and any Russian national or their agents.  But there was this pushy, annoying Canadian guy.”

7.  ‘That’s an irrelevant question, you pipsqueak!”

6.   “Of the $35 million you gave us to investigate the election, we spent $2.1 mil on obsolete FAX machines.    Hey, this IS our Federal government, y’know.”

5.   “No, YOU should resign, Senator!”

4.   “Let me answer you in the form of a limerick.”

3.   “M’am, you want me to trust the word of that certified boozehound?”

2.   “I know the President did not engage in obstruction of justice.    But sometimes he’s got this, like, ‘obstructive personality,’ y’know?”

…and the NUMBER ONE SURPRISING COMMENT BOB MUELLER WILL USE in HIS TESTIMONY to the HOUSE & SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEES is…

1.   “Congressman, I can explain my answer again.   But I can’t comprehend it for you.”

REMINDER: “YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST” WILL BE “ON HIATUS” for a FEW WEEKS. SEE YOU SOON.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. 6​5​,000 homeless ​can’t be wrong.

9.   $20 tolls for Every Downtown​ Driver​ in America!

 8. There is too much money in the “wrong hands.”  Now, ​fork it over.

7. ​  Foreign Policy Experience?  ​Bill​ knows Cuba and Nicaragua.

6.    ​People of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina:  You Need to Start Commuting by Subway.

5.    No, he is not Mayor Pete!

4.    As Crazy as Bernie, but Younger & Taller.

3.     ​We Can ​Make Washington the New Caracas.

2.    Open Borders and No Private Guns: Perfect Together!

…and the NUMBER ONE SLOGAN for the NASCENT “BILL DeBLASIO for PRESIDENT” CAMPAIGN is….

1. Imagine White House State Dinners with American WEED, not Wine.​

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. When meeting with Anita Hill to express regret, offer a teasingly slow shoulder massage.

9. Admit it, Joe.  Admit that growing up in Scranton gave you undeserved privilege.

8. Make really sure you only accept cash donations from Harvey Weinstein.

7.  Try to work in the words “woke,” “me too,” and “multi-gendered” in to every speech, but not all in the same sentence.

6.   There is no need to call Mayor Pete a “whippersnapper,” not yet.

5.  During the Democratic primary debates, resist sniffing Bernie’s hair or rubbing noses with Kamala.

4.  When firing that shotgun off from your back porch, always be sure to yell: “They wanna put y’all back in chains!”

3.  To conclude a hard day of campaigning in Chicago, visit with Jussie Smollett to express concern for his “trauma.”

2.  Reserve your famous “articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking” compliment only for foreign leaders.”

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY that JOE BIDEN can DEMONSTRATE he is “SUFFICIENTLY PROGRESSIVE” is…

1.  Endorse “Cosmetic Surgery for All,” beginning with hair plugs.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.   The White House approved only 3 VIP White House tours for Congressman Swallwell.

9.  In firing James Comey, the President is on tape shouting “… and don’t let the door hit you….”

8. Governor Andrew Cuomo can disband the entire Moreland Commission investigating public corruption.     But if the President just THINKS  about firing a counsel …  that’s impeachable!

7. Mr. Trump just wouldn’t take John Brennan’s word on things.

6. The President had the audacity to call Rep. Adam Schiff a “pencil neck.”   Ain’t that right, Shifty?

5.   Him using that word “hoax” has got to be a high crime, if not a misdemeanor.

4. While renting at “Trump Village” in 1977, Manhattan Congressman Jerry Nadler had to call three times about a leaky faucet.

3.   This House must carry on the relentless “investigative” work of Jim Acosta, Rachel Maddow, Charles Blow and Brian Williams.

2.   Just look at this “collusion” message hidden within a Roger Stone tattoo.

…and the NUMBER ONE SECRET ARTICLE of IMPEACHMENT BEING PREPARED by “PROGRESSIVE” HOUSE MEMBERS is:

1.   Mar-a-Lago just would not offer Joe Biden his usual free room upgrade.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.   When vegetarian actress Pamela Anderson visited Julian Assange, she “smuggled” in three Big Macs for him.

9.  Hillary Clinton remains one of the world’s top experts on acid-washing of e-mails.   She will speak to your organization about “Covering Your Tracks” for only $250,000.

8.  Vladimir Putin lusts after Ukraine largely so he can impress a certain anchorwoman in Kiev.

7.   A Barack Obama e-mail once referred to Joe Biden as a “grinning goofball.”

6.  China’s President Xi really wants an American-made Hummer for weekends.

5.    At least five European heads of state secretly believe “climate change” is a scam.

4.      Until April, four Democratic candidates for president were considering creepy lawyer Michael Avenatti as a running mate.

3.   Prior to offering the Nigerian brothers $3,500 to beat him up, Jussie Smollett asked  “Empire” fan George Stephanopoulos to wear a “MAGA” cap and do it for $1,800.

2. For the $1.1 million she paid for the fraudulent Steele and Fusion GPS dossier, Hillary Clinton also received 3 free nights at any Best Western in the country and a month supply of Popeye’s Fried Chicken.

...and the NUMBER ONE YET-to-BE RELEASED WIKILEAKS REVELATION is,,,

1.There are no showers in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. Prior to the election, the Trump Organization was ​only considering a Motel 6 franchise in Moscow.

9.  During his brief tenure in the White House, General Mike Flynn was called 11 times by Senator Elizabeth Warren for VIP White House Tours.

8.  James Comey authorized electronic eavesdropping while Eric and Lara Trump visited heavily Russian Brighton Beach for dinner.

7.  Grand Jury testimony revealed that Roger Stone still has a Richard Nixon tattoo, but none of Vladimir Putin.

6.    Through a personal contact, it was James Brennan who got borscht and Stolychnaya added to the White House Mess menu​ last year​.

5.   Th​at​ “secret hotel video” from Russia shows citizen Trump raiding the mini-bar in his Moscow room.

4.  While Hillary Clinton was deeply involved in meetings about her fake “Steele Dossier,” leading to a fra​u​dulent FISA order, Bill was making new friends at the “Hooters” in White Plains, NY.

3.  Of the 240 subpoenas issued by the Special Counsel’s staff, only two involved glossy photos of Melania Trump.

2. The Mueller staff featured 42 attorneys, which enabled at least one of them to always be free for a coffee-and-doughnuts​ run.

…and the NUMBER ONE FACT or FINDING to be REDACTED PRIOR to the RELEASE of the MUELLER REPORT is…

1. Of the $35 million spent on the Russia Investigation, $1.8 million went to buying FAX machines and beepers.    Hey, this IS the Federal government.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. HOUSE CRITICS OF PRESIDENT, IN WAKE OF MUELLER REPORT, WON’T TABULATE CALLS DEMANDING THEIR RESIGNATIONS -Washington Post

9. PROVEN TO BE ACCURATE ABOUT NO “RUSSIAN COLLUSION,” PRESIDENT TOUTS RECORD LEVELS OF EMPLOYMENT – New York Times

8. PROMISED ANONYMITY, MORE THAN 80 HOUSE DEMOCRATS COMPLAIN OF REP. OCASIO’S “STAGGERING IGNORANCE” -Boston Globe

7. STILL SEEING WHITE HOUSE CONSPIRACIES, CONGRESSMAN SWALLWELL GENERATES OFFERS OF PRO-BONO MENTAL HEALTH ASSISTANCE- Fresno Bee

6. IN WAKE OF​ PRESIDENT’S​ COMPLETE EXONERATION, COMIC BILL MAHER APPEARS AS SOMBER AS JAMES BRENNAN- Hollywood Reporter

5. FEDERAL RESERVE DOWNGRADES ECONOMIC GROWTH PROJECTIONS TO MERELY “VERY POSITIVE”   –  Financial Times

4. EUROPEAN ​LEADER​S COMPLAIN ABOUT PRESIDENT, BUT HEED HIS CALL TO INCREASE NATO COMMITMENTS      – San Francisco Chronicle

3. 109,000 APPREHENSIONS OF ILLEGALS AT BORDER IN FEBRUARY DEEMED “NO EMERGENCY” BY PELOSI, SCHUMER     – Atlanta Constitution

2. CHASTENED BY MUELLER REPORT, CONGRESSWOMAN TLAIB ESCHEWS PUBLIC OBSCENITIES FOR 37 HOURS   – Detroit Free Press

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE READING THIS WEEK is…

1.NEW TAXES AND TOLLS AWAIT LEGISLATIVE APPROVAL, BUT BOLSTER IMAGES OF CUOMO, DeBLASIO AS OPPONENTS OF WORKING PEOPLE             – NY Daily News

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .