10. Leading off New York’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade: 30 flatbed trucks displaying Soviet-era SS-20 missiles ….
9. Jimmy Fallon takes a week off from The Tonight Show. Guest host: Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov.
8. Angela Merkel, Viktor Orban, Emmanuel Macron and Theresa May arrive on Cape Cod in a rickety raft, seeking asylum.
7. For three weeks now, the lunch menu at the White House Mess always features borscht and Stolichnaya.
6. Jaded Bostonians don’t notice that the “Washington Shuttle” jet they just boarded is operated by Aeroflot.
5. Callers to Warsaw, Rome and Oslo always hear that creepy “busy circuit.”
4. The Good News: Finally, a woman appears on the US $20 bill.
The Bad News: It’s Catherine the Great.
3. Most popular American baby names – 2017: Liam and Emma
Most popular American baby names – 2019: Nikita and Klementina
2. Strangely familiar man without shirt seen driving on Route 66 “road trip,” with Raul Castro, Daniel Ortega and Nikolas Maduro “riding shotgun,” in a manner of speaking.
…and the NUMBER ONE JUST-REVEALED SURE-FIRE SIGN to “TIP OFF” PRESIDENT OBAMA and SECRETARIES CLINTON & KERRY THAT the RUSSIANS are CHEATING on the INF (MISSILE) TREATY is:
1. St. Petersburg’s iconic Hermitage Museum partly obscured by casually stacked nuclear warheads.
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