Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  Draw a “red line in the sand” with the same paint spray can used by Obama in Syria.
11.  If a “No-Ko” missile should strike Japan, Joseph will personally boycott kim-chee.
12.  If Vladimir doesn’t exit Ukraine, we will stop importing those high-end sports cars from Russia.   
13. NBA  ​tele​casts​ in​to​ North Korea​ will be jammed.​
14. Anthony Blinken, in sleeveless muscle-shirt, will call news conference to denounce “disrespect, even if unintentional, to the new world order.”
15.  Kamala will express how proud she is to be “allied with Russia,” but then refer to Vlad as “Czar.”
16. White House Mess is poised to remove spring rolls, Stolichnaya and North Korean dog meat from menu options.
17. To mock Supreme Leader Ali Khameini, President will conduct entire White House news conference wearing a black turban.
18. In an offending nation​,​ USA will cut back tourism advertising by 10%.

…and the NUMBER ONE JOSEPH BIDEN RESPONSE if a FOREIGN ADVERSARY “CROSSES the LINE” is…

1.  Should China threaten Taiwan, Joseph will demand another $1 billion for Hunter to “invest.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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​10.​  $2,587 for official “Chuck Schumer portrait​“​ lunch boxes for each member of the US Senate

​  9.​  $​4​67,000 to purchase luxury coaches ​from​ Willie Nelson, Garth Brooks and Billy Joel, in order to transport migrants in a non-threatening, non-judgmental mode.

​  8.  ​$43,682 ​(​added to the Medicare budget​)​, to cover a “tune up” for the President’s hair-plugs.

​  7.​ $11.2 million for multilingual tourist guidebooks for New York, Washington, D.C. and Martha’s Vineyard.

​  6.​   $900 million to hire IRS agents, whose audits will be ​focus​ed ​on​ family-run dry cleaners in municipalities with fewer than 75,000 residents 

​  5.​   $51 million for training and sidearms for th​ose​ IRS agents…..​          

4.  $4 million to hire 6 ​W​hite ​H​ouse caregivers for​ ​an ​“u​nspecified person​“​ and 2 English translators for an ​“u​nspecified person​“​ in the Vice President’s residence.

​   3.​  ​(​Requested by Transportation Secretary Buttigieg) $ 2.3 million for a ​study to determine the level of racism caused by the Interstate Highway System.  

​   2.​  $43.2 million to hire staff for the newly created office of the “Assistant Secretary of State for Plant and Animal Protection.”

…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER-KNOWN RIDERS ATTACHED to this WEEK’S RESOLUTION THAT KEEPS the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT RUNNING is…

​   1.   ​ $52 million for a new, second “Gulfstream” private jet, so that John Kerry w​ill never​ ​feel​ forced to fly  to ​”​climate​”​ meetings​ ​with staff or servants.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  Why would you need a gun?      That’s what we pay my armed guards for!

 9.  Eventually, we will have metal detectors in the subways.

 8.  My new “Gun Free Zone” signs in Times Square will scare off all those bad guys.

 7.   The “Son of Sam” is still in prison, right?

 6.   We don’t want the “wild west” here, like dangerous Boise or West Palm Beach.

 5.   Even Hunter Biden threw out his gun.

 4.  Nobody’s going huntin’ in the Bronx!

 3.  Look at how scary that rifle grip looks!

 2.  New gun stores could crowd out those cappuccino and potpourri shops….

…and the NUMBER ONE REASON WHY GOVERNOR KATHY HOCHUL WANTS EVEN MORE GUN CONTROL is…

 1.  The police get to nearly every home invasion within 45 minutes.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  You proudly show your Ilhan Omar tattoo to most everyone.

 9.   You are for choice….   but never parental school choice​, of course.​

 8.   You identified with a new gender this week….

 7.  “Paying one’s fair share” in taxes is always for someone else.

 6.  You’ve really learned a lot from Greta Thunberg and AOC.

 5.  When you saw a migrant out yonder from your “Vineyard” mansion, you actually did clutch your pearls.

 4.   You lecture your immigrant cab driver on his duty to pay off your Harvard Law School student loans.

 3.  You ​hated​ Joe McCarthy’s goals, but love his methods.

 2.  ​From your private jet’s mobile phone​, you call in to CNN about the “existential threat” from climate….

…and the NUMBER ONE TIP-OFF THAT YOU are a GENUINE PROGRESSIVE is…

 1.  Your big idea:   transfer border patrol officers and their weapons to the IRS​.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  “What the &%$ were you thinking?”   (NOT sent to Vladimir, February 2022)

 9.   “​Wills​, if you’re out tonight, could you bring back a carton of Luckies?”

 8.   “Nice haircut there, Boris.”

 7.  “I used to think Camilla wore hideous headgear.”   (NOT sent to Lady Gaga)

 6.   “Joe, just read what they hand to you.   The ​press corps will never catch on.”

 5.    “Truly?  You would teach me to drive?”

 4.    “Harry, where’d you find this bimbo?”

 3.    “​You really think I would benefit from a ‘Linked-In’ account?”​

 2.   “Andrew, weren’t you ashamed to fly a private jet to Epstein’s island?”

…and the NUMBER ONE MESSAGE “NOT SENT” by the NEW KING in RECENT YEARS is…

 1.    “Now I see, Angela.   Close down your nuke plants and open more Russian gas pipelines.   What could go wrong?”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is “on hiatus” this week.

We will be back shortly. Thanks for your support!

• Herb Stupp , editor

​10. ​  Can I get my Joe Biden cash advance for the student loan I’m about to take out?

​ 9.   ​  No, I was born in Kentucky.   Can I still get asylum here?

​ 8.  ​   ​Five hundred bucks​ cash and this government phone is yours….

​  7.     Mr. Uber, ​ ​t​ake me to the Museum of Modern Art.

​  6.​  I’ve seen this b​us terminal​ on “Law & Order.”   No way I’m sticking around here.

​   5.  ​ The Milford Plaza Hotel?    That is not up to our standards​, my good man.​

    4.  ​ M’am, what dating site do you recommend for the ​Times Square​ area?

​  3.  ​ OK, I’m here.    Where do I get my teeth fixed for free?

​ 2.​  Occupation?  Special assistant to a human smuggl​er.

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT HEARD as ILLEGAL MIGRANTS from TEXAS are DROPPED OFF in NEW YORK CITY is…

​1.    ​Look, buddy…   I’m a New York taxpayer.    Could I pul-eez ride back to Texas on your bus?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. An all-new “Reliable Sources,” but hosted by (Brian Stelter idol) Michael Avenatti via Zoom from prison…

9. “Dirtiest Jobs — Woke Edition”   —  Premiere Show:   Bobbing around the Bering Sea, a boat with all-transgender deckhand staff searches for king crabs

8. “Progressive Blind Date”  —   Joy Reid, Rosie O’Donnell and Joy Behar see if they can get their blind dates to avoid committing suicide before dessert….

7. “CSI Mar-a-Lago”  —   Federal authorities risk their lives to prevent a world-wide catastrophe, caused by putative violations of the Presidential Records Act….

6. “All in the Family” — no talent, no experience slackers leverage the family “Big Guy’s” government influence to score millions in government contracts and foreign “investments”

5. “Bonanza”  –   A widower and his three grown sons tap into the Federal “Build Back Better” largesse to purchase the dormant Solyndra corporation for only $2 billion

4. Million Dollar Movie:  “Red Dawn”  –  see live coverage of hordes of Communist fighters from Cuba, Nicaragua, Venezuela and Mexico, traversing the Rio Grande by jet ski.

3. “What We Do in the Shadows”  –  sticking a multi-trillion dollar bill to taxpayers, an American president and Congress pass a wildly inflationary “Inflation Reduction Bill” that few people can explain….

2.   “Bay Watch”  –  No longer saving ocean swimmers, Supervising Lifeguard Gavin Newsom is shocked to learn his upscale beach has become a narcotics market, open-air toilet and a graveyard for stolen cars….

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW TV or CABLE SHOW UNDER CONSIDERATION for the FALL SEASON is….

1. “Castle”  –   after campaigning as a “man of the people,” a president builds an impenetrable wall around his beachfront mansion, handing the taxpayers the entire $1 million bill. 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  “WOMAN”        –    no longer has definition; preferred usage:   “identifies as a woman”​ ; archaic:  biologists over 75 may point to secondary and primary sex characteristics to label what they might call “a woman.”​

 9.  “PRIDE”           –   formerly one of the deadly sins;  Today:   mandatory virtue of endorsing “approved” groups

 8.  “MALE”            – a person who identifies as a male (pregnant or not);  those who hold doors open for women and have used the term “fairer sex” must now be considered TOXIC MALES

 7.   “CARCERAL STATE”  –   the mere existence of a prison or detention facility, pretty much anywhere

 6. “ENVIRONMENTAL JUSTICE”   –   providing a “right” for every​ low income person to​ enjoy​ acres of green space and forests

 5.  “SHOPPING”            –  looting

 4. “PROTEST”               – activity includes arson, assaulting police officers, destroying family businesses…  but can present professionally printed posters during TV coverage.

 3.  “WORK”                        – receiving a check or cash;  in extreme cases, may include showing up to voluntarily assist an actual employer

 2.   “TERRORIST”               – might be Iranian-supported opponents of same-sex marriage, but more popularly used to define parents who brazenly speak out at US school board meetings

…and the NUMBER ONE LATEST WORD REVISION in YOUR NEW “WOKE” DICTIONARY is:

 1. ‘INMATE’     –     archaic: someone housed in a correctional institution; now please use “incarcerated person” **;  secondary usage:  non-radical student attending nearly any American university

** This week, NY Governor Kathy Hochul signed legislation to remove the word “inmate” from all state communications, replacing it with “incarcerated person.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  WITH YOUR HELP, WE CAN BE #1 IN STATE TAX RATES AGAIN…

 9.   TAX DOLLARS FOR ABORTION FLIGHTS….BUT STOP THOSE MIGRANT BUSES…

  8.   IF MY HUSBAND CAN’T SCORE SOME EXTRA CASH WITH MY INFLUENCE, WHAT ARE FAMILIES FOR?

 7.   GIVE ME YOUR POOR, TEMPEST-TOSSED…   ‘CAUSE WE HAVE A USED TENT FOR THEM ON 34th STREET

  6.     THINK OF ME AS ANDREW CUOMO IN A SKIRT WITH A TIARA…

  5.   HAH!  YOU THINK THE “BUFFALO BILLIONS” WAS A HUGE SWINDLE?    WAIT FOR THE NEW BILLS STADIUM !

   4.   ACCORDING TO KERRY AND GORE, WE’LL HAVE THE SAME WEATHER AS FLORIDA SOON

   3.   CASHLESS BAIL IS JUST MY WAY OF CARING…

  2.     IF TAXES ARE YOUR ISSUE, NEW YORK IS NOT YOUR STATE  **   (** Gov. Philip Murphy of NJ actually said this about his state

                                    while running for re-election IN 2021…)

… and the NUMBER ONE  RE-ELECTION SLOGAN FOR GOVERNOR KATHY HOCHUL is…

  1.      ACTUALLY, YOU CAN FOOL MOST OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .