Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  You proudly show your Ilhan Omar tattoo to most everyone.

 9.   You are for choice….   but never parental school choice​, of course.​

 8.   You identified with a new gender this week….

 7.  “Paying one’s fair share” in taxes is always for someone else.

 6.  You’ve really learned a lot from Greta Thunberg and AOC.

 5.  When you saw a migrant out yonder from your “Vineyard” mansion, you actually did clutch your pearls.

 4.   You lecture your immigrant cab driver on his duty to pay off your Harvard Law School student loans.

 3.  You ​hated​ Joe McCarthy’s goals, but love his methods.

 2.  ​From your private jet’s mobile phone​, you call in to CNN about the “existential threat” from climate….

…and the NUMBER ONE TIP-OFF THAT YOU are a GENUINE PROGRESSIVE is…

 1.  Your big idea:   transfer border patrol officers and their weapons to the IRS​.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  “What the &%$ were you thinking?”   (NOT sent to Vladimir, February 2022)

 9.   “​Wills​, if you’re out tonight, could you bring back a carton of Luckies?”

 8.   “Nice haircut there, Boris.”

 7.  “I used to think Camilla wore hideous headgear.”   (NOT sent to Lady Gaga)

 6.   “Joe, just read what they hand to you.   The ​press corps will never catch on.”

 5.    “Truly?  You would teach me to drive?”

 4.    “Harry, where’d you find this bimbo?”

 3.    “​You really think I would benefit from a ‘Linked-In’ account?”​

 2.   “Andrew, weren’t you ashamed to fly a private jet to Epstein’s island?”

…and the NUMBER ONE MESSAGE “NOT SENT” by the NEW KING in RECENT YEARS is…

 1.    “Now I see, Angela.   Close down your nuke plants and open more Russian gas pipelines.   What could go wrong?”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is “on hiatus” this week.

We will be back shortly. Thanks for your support!

• Herb Stupp , editor

​10. ​  Can I get my Joe Biden cash advance for the student loan I’m about to take out?

​ 9.   ​  No, I was born in Kentucky.   Can I still get asylum here?

​ 8.  ​   ​Five hundred bucks​ cash and this government phone is yours….

​  7.     Mr. Uber, ​ ​t​ake me to the Museum of Modern Art.

​  6.​  I’ve seen this b​us terminal​ on “Law & Order.”   No way I’m sticking around here.

​   5.  ​ The Milford Plaza Hotel?    That is not up to our standards​, my good man.​

    4.  ​ M’am, what dating site do you recommend for the ​Times Square​ area?

​  3.  ​ OK, I’m here.    Where do I get my teeth fixed for free?

​ 2.​  Occupation?  Special assistant to a human smuggl​er.

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT HEARD as ILLEGAL MIGRANTS from TEXAS are DROPPED OFF in NEW YORK CITY is…

​1.    ​Look, buddy…   I’m a New York taxpayer.    Could I pul-eez ride back to Texas on your bus?

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. An all-new “Reliable Sources,” but hosted by (Brian Stelter idol) Michael Avenatti via Zoom from prison…

9. “Dirtiest Jobs — Woke Edition”   —  Premiere Show:   Bobbing around the Bering Sea, a boat with all-transgender deckhand staff searches for king crabs

8. “Progressive Blind Date”  —   Joy Reid, Rosie O’Donnell and Joy Behar see if they can get their blind dates to avoid committing suicide before dessert….

7. “CSI Mar-a-Lago”  —   Federal authorities risk their lives to prevent a world-wide catastrophe, caused by putative violations of the Presidential Records Act….

6. “All in the Family” — no talent, no experience slackers leverage the family “Big Guy’s” government influence to score millions in government contracts and foreign “investments”

5. “Bonanza”  –   A widower and his three grown sons tap into the Federal “Build Back Better” largesse to purchase the dormant Solyndra corporation for only $2 billion

4. Million Dollar Movie:  “Red Dawn”  –  see live coverage of hordes of Communist fighters from Cuba, Nicaragua, Venezuela and Mexico, traversing the Rio Grande by jet ski.

3. “What We Do in the Shadows”  –  sticking a multi-trillion dollar bill to taxpayers, an American president and Congress pass a wildly inflationary “Inflation Reduction Bill” that few people can explain….

2.   “Bay Watch”  –  No longer saving ocean swimmers, Supervising Lifeguard Gavin Newsom is shocked to learn his upscale beach has become a narcotics market, open-air toilet and a graveyard for stolen cars….

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW TV or CABLE SHOW UNDER CONSIDERATION for the FALL SEASON is….

1. “Castle”  –   after campaigning as a “man of the people,” a president builds an impenetrable wall around his beachfront mansion, handing the taxpayers the entire $1 million bill. 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  “WOMAN”        –    no longer has definition; preferred usage:   “identifies as a woman”​ ; archaic:  biologists over 75 may point to secondary and primary sex characteristics to label what they might call “a woman.”​

 9.  “PRIDE”           –   formerly one of the deadly sins;  Today:   mandatory virtue of endorsing “approved” groups

 8.  “MALE”            – a person who identifies as a male (pregnant or not);  those who hold doors open for women and have used the term “fairer sex” must now be considered TOXIC MALES

 7.   “CARCERAL STATE”  –   the mere existence of a prison or detention facility, pretty much anywhere

 6. “ENVIRONMENTAL JUSTICE”   –   providing a “right” for every​ low income person to​ enjoy​ acres of green space and forests

 5.  “SHOPPING”            –  looting

 4. “PROTEST”               – activity includes arson, assaulting police officers, destroying family businesses…  but can present professionally printed posters during TV coverage.

 3.  “WORK”                        – receiving a check or cash;  in extreme cases, may include showing up to voluntarily assist an actual employer

 2.   “TERRORIST”               – might be Iranian-supported opponents of same-sex marriage, but more popularly used to define parents who brazenly speak out at US school board meetings

…and the NUMBER ONE LATEST WORD REVISION in YOUR NEW “WOKE” DICTIONARY is:

 1. ‘INMATE’     –     archaic: someone housed in a correctional institution; now please use “incarcerated person” **;  secondary usage:  non-radical student attending nearly any American university

** This week, NY Governor Kathy Hochul signed legislation to remove the word “inmate” from all state communications, replacing it with “incarcerated person.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  WITH YOUR HELP, WE CAN BE #1 IN STATE TAX RATES AGAIN…

 9.   TAX DOLLARS FOR ABORTION FLIGHTS….BUT STOP THOSE MIGRANT BUSES…

  8.   IF MY HUSBAND CAN’T SCORE SOME EXTRA CASH WITH MY INFLUENCE, WHAT ARE FAMILIES FOR?

 7.   GIVE ME YOUR POOR, TEMPEST-TOSSED…   ‘CAUSE WE HAVE A USED TENT FOR THEM ON 34th STREET

  6.     THINK OF ME AS ANDREW CUOMO IN A SKIRT WITH A TIARA…

  5.   HAH!  YOU THINK THE “BUFFALO BILLIONS” WAS A HUGE SWINDLE?    WAIT FOR THE NEW BILLS STADIUM !

   4.   ACCORDING TO KERRY AND GORE, WE’LL HAVE THE SAME WEATHER AS FLORIDA SOON

   3.   CASHLESS BAIL IS JUST MY WAY OF CARING…

  2.     IF TAXES ARE YOUR ISSUE, NEW YORK IS NOT YOUR STATE  **   (** Gov. Philip Murphy of NJ actually said this about his state

                                    while running for re-election IN 2021…)

… and the NUMBER ONE  RE-ELECTION SLOGAN FOR GOVERNOR KATHY HOCHUL is…

  1.      ACTUALLY, YOU CAN FOOL MOST OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

.

10.   SPEAKER SEES NO INCONSISTENCY IN ​ JAILING ​BANNON​, BUT NOT HOLDER, ​FOR “CONTEMPT OF CONGRESS”  -San Francisco Intelligencer

 9.   KAMALA HARRIS EMERGES AS BIDEN’S BEST INSURANCE AGAINST IMPEACHMENT -Buffalo Panda-Express

 8.  CONGRESSMAN SCHIFF SEES “COLLUSION”​AGAIN; GINNY THOMAS IS NEW TARGET – Plattsburgh Democrat-Chronicle

 7.   JOSEPH BIDEN REDEFINES “RECESSION” AS “WHEN YOUR PRESIDENT LOSES HIS JOB” – Wilmington Fleecer

 6.  TO PUNISH U.S. FOR PELOSI VISIT TO TAIWAN, C.C.P. WILL DONATE TO KAMALA’S “BAIL FUND” FOR VIOLENT RIOTERS – Honolulu Glacier

 5.   KIM JONG-UN WADES ACROSS THE RIO GRANDE, JUST TO PROVE HE CAN – Eagle Pass Reporter

 4.  SENATOR SCHUMER OVERHEARD IN BODEGA, COMPLAINING OF “BIDENFLATION” – South Bronx Home News

 3. ​  CONGRESSMEN THOMPSON, CHENEY NEVER EXPLAIN HOW AN INSURRECTION OR COUP COULD SUCCEED WITHOUT WEAPONS – Tupelo Star-Ledger

 2. TREASURY SECRETARY SUGGESTS THAT RAISING TAXES DURING A RECESSION COULD SUCCEED  – – EVEN IF FOR THE FIRST TIME – Chattanooga Mirror

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE READING in the MAINSTREAM NEWS THIS WEEK is…

1. CHRIS CUOMO’S NEW ANNUAL SALARY AMOUNTS TO $41,000 PER VIEWER – Milwaukee Register

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  TOXIC / MALE / WHAT’RE YOU LOOKIN’ AT?

 9.   DUH / WHA? / HUM?

 8.  FRILLY / GIRLY / ​ MAY I​ HOLD THE DOOR FOR ​YOU​?

 7.  CEO / BOSS/ YES, IT’S NUTTY, BUT WE MUST BE IN COMPLIANCE

 6.   HAS A BUILDING NAMED FOR HIM/ HER ON CAMPUS

 5.  “CIS” / STRAIGHT/ I GUESSED RIGHT

 4.   HUNTER / PROTECTOR / CARRYING​ CONCEALED​

 3.  ROVER, CAPTAIN, DON’T TOUCH THAT

 2.  PREGNANT PERSON, PREGNANT PERSON, RALPH IS DUE SOON

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW SUSBSTITUTE for the “PREFERRED PRONOUNS at “WOKE” CORPORATIONS and UNIVERSITIES is….

1.  K​EMOSABE, TONTO, SILVERHEELS

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

— Herb Stupp, editor