Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  Kamala will publicly refer to “my administration” at least five times.

 9.  Shockingly, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un will ​not ​be photographed seated next to Dennis Rodman.

 8.  ​Exactly zero mainstream news organization​s ​​​will report ​comprehensively​ on​ ​Biden family influence-peddling.

 7.  Hillary Clinton will plead for a pardon​ from a president, any president.​

 6. To avoid commenting on Columbus Day, the Biden administration will declare “Free Health Care for Illegals Week.”

 5.  Mayor Bill DeBlasio will commence snoring during one of his own speeches.

 4.  ​Newly appointed “Climate Czar” John Kerry will utilize private jets and gas guzzling vehicles to speed him to vital “climate change” conferences.​

 3.   During January 20th inaugural ceremonies, Bill Clinton will resume ogling Melania Trump.

 2. Joseph Biden WILL hold one news conference without a teleprompter or family member at his side.   ​(Sorry, no questions, though.​)​

…and the NUMBER ONE PREDICTIONS for 2021 is:

 1. Perhaps accidentally, new Domestic Affairs counselor Susan Rice will tell the truth.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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10.  Sure, she is unrepentant. But be a champ and issue a pardon to Hillary…   (President Trump)

 9.  Figure out how to finagle free golf at Mar-a-Lago…    (former President Obama)

 8.   By Easter for sure, show up one morning at work…  (Mayor Bill DeBlasio) 

7.  Try not to leer in anticipation when Mr. Biden stumbles…    (Kamala)

 6.   Show up at the Holland Tunnel to wave bye-bye to all the New Yorkers escaping your taxes and gun laws…  (Gov. Andrew Cuomo) 

5.   Offer North Korean luxury vehicles in exchange for NBA franchise…  (Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un) 

 4. On the Inauguration grandstand, a stethoscope will make a truly memorable fashion accessory.  (“Dr.” Jill Biden) 

3.   Now’s as good a time as any to re-train all editors and reporters in the principles of even-handed journalism…   (the editors of the New York Times) 

2.   Never drift more than 10 feet from the teleprompter…    (Joseph Biden) 

…and the NUMBER ONE RESOLUTIONS for 2021 is…

1.  Purchase a Hollywood-caliber fake beard for those evenings when you simply must dine at a fine restaurant...   (Gov. Gavin Newsom)  

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

       – A tax hike for you and for me.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

     – Two Georgia Senators.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

   – Three softball questions.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

  – Four screeching Marxists.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

   – F-i-i-ve jus- tice – es.

– On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

    – Six ​Swallwell escorts.​

– On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

   – Seven abandoned laptops.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

  – Eight righteous pardons.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

 – Nine Space Force Guardians.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

  – Ten Biden interview​s.

​On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

 – Eleven Commies spying.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

 -Twelve million mail votes.​

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2020 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. “Thanks for nuthin,”  – President Trump to seven SCOTUS justices

 9.  “Here’s Morocco for Ya’,”  – Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu

 8.  “Honey, where are those files you borrowed? XX “  –   Congressman Eric Swallwell to Fang-Fang, ​ trusted ​agent of Communist China

 7.  “May you get all treats and no tricks this month.”   — putative President Joseph Biden

 6.  “We will deliver Medicare-for-All, higher taxes and crazy spending, unless an offensive, vile video interrupts us.”   — future Domestic Policy Council chair Susan Rice

 5.   “Feliz Navidad to my loyal subjects.  With no gasoline available, we sure are delivering on our Paris “emissions ​target​s.”    ​– Venezuelan​Comandante Nicolas Maduro

 4. ​”Dear Occupant: here are 20 more unsolicited paper ballots for the December 5th run-offs, just for you.   If you would like an additional supply, just call.” — Stacey Abrams

 3.  ​ “Dear students and all university staff,  Let us celebrate our cherished, secular winter solstice holidays in one of the many ‘Safe Spaces’ on our beloved campus.”                                    – Same message tapped by over 100 college presidents

 2.  “Dear Joseph, may 2021 bring you all the health and cognition you deserve. Reach out if my administration can do anything at all for you.”                                     – Kamala

…and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS or HANNUKAH CARD INSCRIPTION is:

​ 1.   “Thank you in advance for the expected resumption of  holiday “gratuities.”    Nevertheless, death to America.”                                                                     -Iranian President Hassan Rouhani

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2020 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. “All I Want for Christmas is Real News”   —   White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEneny

 9. “Mistletoe Me”  —   Bill Clinton

 8. “Feliz Michigan”  — Gov. Gretchen Whitmer toasts the 10,000 deceased Detroiters who voted last month

 7. “Run Run Rudolph”   —  Chuck Berry III in wonderment at the former mayor’s apparent simultaneous presence in Atlanta, Philadelphia, Las Vegas, Milwaukee and Atlanta.

 6. “Rockin’ Around the Dominion Machine” – Stacey Abrams choreographs a Nutcracker ballet with a “voter suppression” theme

 5. “Grandpa Got Run Over by the Fake News”  — Jim Acosta, Rachel Maddow and Chuck Todd don red suits

 4. “All I Want for Christmas is Joe”  – Xi Jinping and the Central Committee

 3. “Ballots Roasting O’er an Open Fire”   -Wisconsin Governor Evers keeps warm with votes exceeding actual local populations

 2. “O Come all Ye Faithful” – through voice track mixing, Congresswoman Ocasio and Commandante Maduro beckon lovers of ​expanding​ deep state powers..

…and the NUMBER ONE HOLIDAY SONG WE’D LIKE to HEAR is:

1. “I’m Dreaming of a White Supremacist”  —  The White House Press Corps Chorale

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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​10.​  Home Alone III  —  ​In the padded b​asement of ​his​ Delaware mansion​, young Joseph teams with his devoted media friends to thwart any probing or disturbing question from reaching​ his innocent ears.​

9.  ​Miracle on “K” Street — D.C.’s Lobbyists Given the Best ​Gift​ Imaginable

 8.  We’re No Angels II — Adam Schiff, Nancy Pelosi, Jerrold Nadler and Hakeem Jeffries finally admit they lied about the Russia Hoax. 

7.  Donald Saves Christmas —  Using his business smarts, the American president presses his aides and the finest private sector scientists in the world to deliver life saving vaccines in months, not years. 

6. Nightmare Before Christmas II  —  A disturbing 10,000 Michiganders rise from the dead to cast live votes for Joseph Biden. 

5. Scrooged II  —  Ebenezer Ocasio-Cortez learns a harsh Yuletide lesson when she calls 911 after defunding the NYPD, only to hear this recording:  “Press 1 for a social worker’s voice mail.” 

4.  It’s a Wonderful Life II –  Initially despondent in snowy Bedford Hills, Andrew McCabe, James Comey, Hillary Clinton, Peter Strzok and Christopher Steele are re-assured there would have been no FISA-driven spying, no Russian hoax, and no impeachment without their determined efforts.

 3. Gremlins II  –  The only plausible explanation for “weighting”  Joseph Biden votes more than Don Trump ballots. 

2. National Lampoon’s Christmas STAYcation  — Santa finally meets his match as Andrew Cuomo, Gavin Newsom and Philip Murphy succeed in terminating the Yuletide season.

…and the NUMBER ONE HOLIDAY MOVIE WE’D LIKE to SEE is:

​1. Elf II — While hosting an hour-long “Town Hall,” ABC’s George Stephanopoulos ​gift-wraps a present for Joseph Biden in the form of ZERO challenging questions.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2020 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. As you know, Governor Cuomo limits family gatherings to ten people.   You are the 11th to arrive.

  9. Could you pass the turkey and stuffing, made possible by the most vibrant economy in world history?

  8. Who’s that cute friend you brought?  Ya’ think she unmasks on the first date?

  7. The governor says that laughing is forbidden.   It could lead to dancing.  Yeah, that’s illegal too.

  6. Do you think Melania will be cooking next year?

  5. ‘Ceptin’ the Jello-mold, we personally hunted for all this food.

  4.  So, what does the Squad actually say about Thanksgiving?  

  3. The Pilgrims sailed for 3 months, and there was no canned cranberry sauce?

  2.   Are those real mashed potatoes, or are they corrupted, like voting in Philly or Detroit?

…and the NUMBER ONE DIVERSIONARY REMARK, to AVOID DISCUSSING POLITICS at the THANKSGIVING TABLE is…

  1.  All of our bathrooms are gender-neutral, of course.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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​10.​ “The cash from China actually went to ​‘​Dr.​‘​ Jill, not to Joseph.”

​ 9.​ “At least nobody’s said anything about those photos Hunter has on the computer.”

​  8. ​“Kamala didn’t really mean ‘the riots will continue.'”

​  7. ​“Joseph is asking if he can monetize fracking in his own basement.  Then, he will reveal his position on fracking after the election.”

​ 6. ​ ” Whaddya mean, no experience?”

​ 5. ​  “What the Pope meant to say is….”

 4.   “Senator Harris did not intend to bail out looters in Minneapolis.  She intended to buy a gift card at Hooters in St. Paul.”

 3.  “The former Vice President firmly believes that if you like your Ukrainian energy company, you can keep your Ukrainian energy company.”

 2. “After careful consideration,  I really have no objection to a Catholic being a judge.”

…and the NUMBER ONE “REQUIRED” LATE OCTOBER EXPLANATION is:

 1.  “Mr. Biden has a plan where all the jobs lost in oil & gas will be replaced by new positions installing the wind turbines we are building.  Now, the job might be in a different time zone.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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10.  Mr. Vice President:   Right now, would you prefer a 3-minute massage from me, or four more warm, softball questions in a row?

 9.  Candidates:  If elected, which of your family members would be discouraged from making deals with foreign governments?

 8. Candidates:  Quickly now, what is your best guess as to how many more Americans would have died without the bans on travel from China and Europe?

 7. Candidates: will you commit right now to donating your presidential salary to charity?

 6.  Gentlemen, should Twitter and Facebook allow posts from the Iranian government, while censoring investigative reports from the New York Post and other American news organizations?

 5,  Mr. Vice President, are the police still the “enemy” in your mind?

 4. Mr. President:   What looks better to you at this moment, more questions on white supremacy, masks and your taxes, or a shot to the knee​cap ​from a low-caliber pistol?

 3. Hey Mr. Biden: more than once, you said you’d like to take the President “behind the gym.”  Whadda ya say right here and now, tough guy?

 2.  Sirs, the US Supreme Court has operated with nine justices for 150 years.  Should that number be expanded?​  Please answer in one sentence, prior to the election.​

…and the NUMBER ONE “LIGHTNING ROUND” QUESTION AMERICANS WANT to HEAR from the MODERATOR in the FINAL DEBATE is:

1. Mr. President, you moved from New York to Florida, primarily for tax reasons.  Mr. Vice President, your friend Andrew is Governor of New York.   If your Federal tax plan is enacted​, successful people in New York, California and New Jersey  will pay more than 60% in income taxes.   Is that what you consider “their fair share?”   Yes or no, from both of you, please…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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10.  HILLARY CLINTON E-MAILS REVEAL AS MANY AS 40 LIKELY FELONIES COMMITTED BY FORMER SECRETARY

 9.  PLOT TO KIDNAP MICHIGAN GOVERNOR ​LED BY​ ANTI-TRUMP ZEALOTS

 8.  CHINA’S XI OPENLY EXPRESSES SUPPORT FOR DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES, WONT COMMENT ON INVOLVEMENT IN U.S. ELECTIONS

 7.  JUDGE BARRETT NOW EXPECTED TO LOSE SOME SENATE​ DEMOCRAT​ VOTES FOR BEING “TOO BORING”

 6. SPEAKER PELOSI UNABLE TO​ RECITE HOUSE RULES ​FOR​ REMOV​ING​ A SPEAKER WHO IS “UNABLE TO EXECUTE” HER ​DUTIES​

 5.  BIDEN WILL ANNOUNCE HIS POSITION ON NUDE ADS FEATURING HOLLYWOOD SUPPORTERS “AFTER THE ELECTION”

 4.  SENATOR HARRIS OVERHEARD BY REPORTER, RE-ASSURING MR. BIDEN “IT IS O.K. TO STAY IN THE BASEMENT” TODAY

 3.   SECRET PHOTOGRAPH FROM NORTH KOREA REVEALS “HILLARY’S REVENGE” LOGO ON NEW ICBM MISSILE 

 2.  RARE AGREEMENT BETWEEN CUOMO AND DeBLASIO: RELEASING VIOLENT CRIMINALS HAS NO IMPACT ON CRIME

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE SEEING THIS WEEK is:

1.   PRESIDENT REJECTS “VIRTUAL” DEBATE, BUT REMAINS SILENT ON POTENTIAL CAGE MATCH

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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